In the apostle Paul’s word to the elders at Ephesus, apparently given the last time he saw them, we have an amazing account of Paul’s ministry to them. There are times when we could either emulate or take warning from testimonies and witnesses like this. Because Paul was going to sail by Ephesus without landing, he called for the elders at Ephesus to come to Miletus. He wanted to talk to them before going on to Jerusalem for the Feast of Pentecost. Acts 20 gives us the account of what he said to them.
Paul told how he had served the Lord with all humility, with tears, and with trials which came upon him through the plots of the Jews. “ ‘How I did not shrink from declaring to you anything that was profitable, and teaching you publicly and from house to house.” Acts 20:20. That was the order of the apostolic ministry. First he said, “I did not shrink from this”; then he went on to speak of his dedication. “But I do not consider my life of any account as dear to myself, in order that I may finish my course, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus….” Acts 20:24. Again he repeated, “For I did not shrink from declaring to you the whole purpose of God.” In other words, “I did not shrink from what God gave me to do.” Acts 20:27.
He continued, telling the elders to guard the flock, and he spoke of his own attitude: “I have coveted no one’s silver or gold or clothes. You yourselves know that these hands ministered to my own needs and to the men who were with me. In every thing I showed you that by working hard in this manner you must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He Himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ” Acts 20:33–35. “It is more blessed to give than to receive” is an empty phrase until you become involved in a real walk with God. It is an empty phrase in this generation, for it involves working hard in all humility. Paul was constantly serving the Lord; his own hands ministered to his needs and to those who were with him. He showed them how they must help the weak, and he reminded them that the Lord Jesus Himself had said, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”
Paul was saying, “I did not draw back from these things.” In a walk with God, withdrawal and weariness are very dangerous. In Galatians 6:9 we are warned: And let us not be weary in well-doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. Oh, we need to remember this. Our service and our labor is that test of faith. When we become impatient with a brother or a sister, or when we grow weary with the task that becomes tedious and monotonous, we think, “I’ve got to look after myself sometimes; I have to be concerned about myself.” Then we draw back into that natural realm of living, walking as men instead of walking as sons of God. This is the danger, and it is a temptation to each one of us.
You probably have faced times of shrinking back to a place of lukewarm or inconsistent involvement; yet a walk with God is based upon involvement. It means that you become involved, often without receiving what you were hoping for. Do you want appreciation or recognition for what you do? Forget it! Will the people you serve appreciate it? Perhaps not. You are to become a channel for God’s blessing, a mouthpiece for God to speak through, hands to execute the fullness of God in the earth. You are a member of the Body of Christ. Along with your brethren, you are to become the expression of all that God wants to say to the earth, epistles of Christ, read and known of all men. It is such a glorious thing, but it moves right back into theory instead of a walk when you become weary and shrink back or withdraw. You must plunge into it totally and irrevocably, and never turn back.
You cannot put your hand to the plow and look back and be fit for the Kingdom of God. When you look back, or shrink back and withdraw, you immediately throw your walk down to just another expression of Christianity in the earth, and it is not that; it is far more than that. Christ is bringing forth a remnant of the Church to be the first expression of His Kingdom. You must give and sacrifice without regret, for you have chosen this to be your way of life.
Set yourself on a course of walking with God. It is lonely sometimes, and it would be easy to compromise your moral principles just a little in order to be more popular or to benefit personally. But come to the place where you say, “I believe in a walk with God. This is a way of life to me. I will not walk with God for a little while and then draw back because I grow weary.” The human body is capable of much more than most people realize. When you feel the first weariness, that is nature’s warning; but it is misleading. You can go on. Like the human body, the human spirit is capable of getting its second and third wind. If you are moving consistently, you will soon break through, and the weariness will give way.
There is a director of a physical fitness program who has seventy-year-old people running four or five miles each morning before they start their day’s work. It does not cause heart pains or heart troubles because he has them warm up slowly and “warm down,” which decreases activity slowly. There is a danger of a heart attack only if they run hard and then stop exercising suddenly. For that reason, after a horse has run a race, his trainer sees that the horse is walked for a period of time to warm him down, and within a short time he can run again.
The human body is capable of many things. The human spirit is capable of many things, too. So when you think you are discouraged, remember that it is a totally phony illusion; spiritually you have not even received your second wind yet. You can be praying and suddenly feel that you are all finished: Just stop and praise the Lord and get ready for another round of prayer. It is that comeback, that “stay with it” attitude, that counts. Be not weary in well-doing. For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. Hebrews 12:3. You cannot become weary in your walk with God. Sometimes it is thankless, but you are not in it to be thanked.
You cannot avoid the work that must be done in a New Testament church. Everyone has something to do. But you are not doing it as a favor to anyone; you are working as unto the Lord. No one is getting anything out of it except the privilege of walking with God. Day by day, week by week, you have the opportunity to consistently work hard. Notice that in Acts 20:35, Paul said, “In every thing I showed you that by working hard in this manner you must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He Himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ” The blessing will be there to elevate you. You will rise up to higher levels in walking with God because God can trust you to be a consistent channel of His life, His Word, and His energy flowing into the earth.
You can become God’s consistent channel, but you will never do it until you crucify the feelings and the reluctance of the flesh to long endure that which God says you must do and that which He sets before you. Even after you have done it all, you still have to say, “I am an unprofitable servant, for I have done only that which was expected of me” (Luke 17:10).
Ask God to give you grace to receive this word. Be open to let the Spirit convict your heart. Be ready to repent for every time you have failed in supporting one of the weaker brothers or sisters of the church. Be ready to repent for every time you have stopped and judged a person’s worthiness before you decided whether or not you would do something for him. Be ready to repent for every time you have failed to draw God’s strength and God’s renewal, and instead have given way to absurd limitations in your service and your ministry to the Lord and to His people. Repent for things you have started and dropped, where you have become a spiritual dropout in a ministry. Be ready to repent of that which is not consistent day after day, year after year.
You must be consistent to serve as the ministry that God has raised you up to be, the ministry who will serve the people who look to you. You must be an example to the believers who will be coming to you, that they in like manner will so serve as they see the consistent love with which you attend to their needs.
Repent for thinking of yourself and your comforts. That dead instinct of self-preservation has to go. He that would save his life shall lose it; and he that loses his life for the Lord’s sake shall find it (Luke 9:24). And this we must do. Ask of the Lord, by the help of His Holy Spirit, a repentance and a complete cleansing from any withdrawal in your spirit.