I am concerned about our relationships—and what makes a relationship good and what brings divisions into it! We have seen this emphasis for the last few years: The Lord is teaching us how to relate to Him, how to relate to each other as His children, and how to communicate. This has been the whole theme of almost everything that has been happening. Every young couple, every couple that has been married for some time, as well as every member of the local Body of Christ, needs this message. And as you retain this Word, it will help you when the enemy hits you to bring division. The principality, the nephilim spirit which we are fighting, is set to divide people, and this Word is an apostolic Word in due season (Luke 12:42). Believe it!
The enemy is set to create a wedge and to drive that wedge between people. Every time this spirit of division strikes, all values and all relationships seem to have changed. Yet the minute that the battle ends, everything appears to be all right again.
You must realize that this Word is from the Lord; you must heed it, because the Lord wants you to be prepared! For about thirty minutes one day, I had a strange experience in which it seemed as though every relationship that God was working on in the Body was suddenly being torn apart. My mind became confused and I recognized that the enemy was making a witchcraft preparation. Then the phone rang, and I realized that the caller was the source of the attack. The outcome was that the Lord gave me authority to throw the attack the other way. When I hung up, the attack that was coming through the enemy had been reversed, and everything was normal again.
We must fight that principality of division; we must take dominion over it in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. We must believe that this principality is coming down; we must believe that it will be judged.
There will not be any hesitancy on our part. We proclaim total, absolute victory by the name of the Lord Jesus Christ over it. Another principality fighting us is the one over finances. But the whole attack is not just over finances; the same spirit also wars to make you feel isolated, separated from everybody, and all alone in your battle. Its goals are to make you feel that nobody really cares, and that there is no answer for you; and because you feel that you can’t find the answer by yourself, you wonder what you are going to do! All of this is the attack of the enemy, to isolate you in your relationships.
Communication is more than what two people say to each other; communication is a flow of faith between people. This flow of faith is what the enemy is trying to destroy. But you do not have to communicate to have that faith. There will be times in which you will have a great deal of exposure and communication back and forth with each other. Then there will also be periods in which that kind of communication is not necessary. Things change and shift, and the emphasis is put on other areas in the Body. Yet there is always that attack against that aspect of your relationship which is the bond of faith. There is always that attack against you! You cannot trust that the bond of faith will exist just because you love your brother; the bond of faith requires more than that. There is something else which you must do deliberately.
Let’s start with a passage of Scripture; let it open up to you in such a way that you can understand and feel the depth of the wisdom of God in the Word. We do not want to look upon the Word so that we have only a superficial explanation of it; our aim is to get right to the heart of what God is really saying. Chapter 6 of II Corinthians is based upon Paul’s experiences during a period of great persecution and misunderstanding. In this chapter he explained his position concerning his relationship to the Lord and his relationship to the Corinthians. And in doing so, of course, he was urging them to relate to him. Our mouth has spoken freely to you, O Corinthians, our heart is opened wide. (Paul said “our” mouth and “our” heart because he was writing to the Corinthian church along with the other apostles in the apostolic company.) You are not restrained by us, but you are restrained in your own affections. II Corinthians 6:11–12.
Most of your problems are not coming from somebody else; they are from yourself. Even though you may have thought that a brother did not treat you right and so you are cut off from him, that is not the issue. The problem is you! Behind everything we do, there must be a relationship to each other on God’s terms and in God’s will. A faithful brother who loves the Lord will probably experience a time when someone imposes upon him, insisting that he do various things for him. And because he loves that other brother, he feels he must do exactly what he is told. But no! There are times when you hurt even your own family by serving them on their terms. There are times when you hurt your brothers and sisters by serving them on their terms. A ministry can find himself put in a position where he must do what the people want him to do, when they want him to do it, and how they want him to do it. Then his ministry to them becomes an almost defensive level of servitude in which he feels he has to serve the people on their terms. And as a result, because he is relating in a wrong way, God will soon bring a crisis in that relationship.
In relating as a ministry to you, I try to serve you; but there is one point where you cannot get past me. I reached this point at a special time when God met my heart. At that time I was a pastor in a Pentecostal denomination, and I felt a great responsibility for fulfilling the needs of the people. This included taking many of the elderly people on their weekly shopping trips and running various errands for them. I was a good pastor, but increasingly I felt like Atlas: it seemed as though I had to help God hold the heavens up so that they would not collapse.
And then God met me—and I realized that He alone had to be the Lord. From then on I served the people under His Lordship. Right away, I found myself facing the fact that a lot of the things that I had done before had just eroded away. Those things did not stand, because I had been doing them for the people on their terms and at their demands.
They did not stand! Then I began to minister a Living Word to the people; I ministered love to them. I don’t think I gave less; instead, I gave even more. But I was serving them the way God wanted. I was relating to the people the way God wanted me to relate.
This is the way a husband and wife must relate, too. When a point is reached where one of them becomes the dominating force over the other, insisting, “This is what you have to do!” a subservience (in the name of submission) is produced in the other person. That is not good; it does not work well. It will not be very long until their relationship falls apart. Even though their intention was to have a solid, Bible-based marriage in divine order, it won’t work if they have not related the way God wants them to relate. Their marriage has to be a relationship in the Lord. Is the husband supposed to be the head? Yes, but he is also supposed to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it (Ephesians 5:23–25). There must be in him that same basic giving and spiritual relationship which Christ had. It must also be in his wife. It is good when the wife realizes that the Lord has called her to be a helpmate to her husband, and she decides to stand right with him and help him. But she can also become such a manipulator that she is suppressing the will of God from coming forth in that relationship with her husband (or it may be the husband who is suppressing God’s will for his wife). The Lord wants to teach us further about this!
Paul said to the Corinthians, “You are restrained in your own affections.” Most of the limitations in a relationship are in your own thinking and in your own feelings. But usually you don’t think about this until the enemy hits you in your emotions or your affections, and then all at once, something seems wrong. The next day, however, it doesn’t seem as though there is anything wrong at all. The restraint and the restrictions are in yourself.
Now in a like exchange—I speak as to children—open wide to us also. This is “open heart surgery”! Open your heart wide. Do not be bound together with unbelievers for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? Or what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said. II Corinthians 6:13–16a. Here Paul stresses that there cannot be this imbalance of faith, in which one person is a rebel and an unbeliever, and the other person is a Christian who wants to be submissive to the Lord. The demands they make upon each other in such a relationship will be unequal. It is because of problems such as these that we have such extensive marriage check-outs for each couple. Before they marry, a young couple may be observed and counseled and checked, for several years even, concerning their relationship. Sometimes such extensive counsel is necessary because much maturing is needed for both of them. Even more than maturity, however, there must be an equal dedication to the Lord in each partner.
What is dedication but an application of faith? You believe, and you give yourself to what you believe. Faith without that work of dedication in your life is dead (James 2:17–24). In a marriage, as both hear the Word, there must be a corresponding faith in each one so that their dedication is mutual. Yet the whole issue is not what those two are presently dedicated to do. Rather, the issue is what their dedication embraces concerning the future, when many things will be presented to them which as yet they are not even prepared for. But if the quality of dedication is equal in both partners, they will continue to walk side by side.
Barriers in a relationship arise where there is a limited dedication on one person’s part. You can see an illustration of this in a home where the wife wants to serve the Lord with all of her heart; her husband may want to serve the Lord too, in a way, but his dedication is more limited than hers. Before long he wants to sit at home rather than go to church, because he is “too tired”; he is dragging his feet. It is his limit of dedication that is holding the whole family back. But because his wife wants to continue to move ahead in the Lord, little by little a division is created. Because one is moving on in the Lord and the other is pulling back, that makes a distance between them. Immediately, other principles begin to operate in the situation. For instance, if the husband becomes offensive in his resistance and the whole family is being held back, then the millstone principle comes into play; he is offending “one of the little ones” (Luke 17:1–2) by not allowing them to go ahead in what God has for them. Kingdom relationships, marriages, and families can be destroyed by the unequal pace caused by unequal dedication. With an unequal pace, each one will move differently.
That unequal pace may not seem to affect a couple much at the beginning of their marriage. But what will happen later? As the years go by, people become increasingly set and determined to remain upon a certain level of dedication; they have more or less limited their own horizons: “This far I will see, this far I will go. I won’t look any further; I won’t listen to anything more.” But dedication has to be without limitation. Dedication has to be without limitation.
On the first line of your contract with the Lord, write, “Yes, my Lord Jesus Christ,” and then sign your name. From then on, the Lord will be continually revealing to you all the conditions of that contract. Of course, it is always difficult to make covenants and promises—“for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health”—when you do not know what you may run into later. Nevertheless, do not excuse yourself by saying that you never anticipated having to go through so much, and that you have a limitation on your dedication for the Lord. You can’t do that! It is in those very areas of limitation that the principality of division is able to gain access. I have won more battles against division simply by telling a person, “My heart is open, and it will stay opened!” Then I entreat him to open his heart, too. And sooner or later it happens. In one situation with a certain brother, I continued to stand right by him in faith, even though I was aware of his hostility and open vilification against me. And yet I did not tell him that I knew what he was saying and doing. I continued to express my love to him because he is a spiritual son. The fact that he was not acting like a son is beside the point, as far as I’m concerned. I had made a predetermined decision to keep my heart open.
Determine that there will be absolutely no limit to your dedication to the Lord and no limit to your dedication to one another. Decide that you will not react apart from this predetermined decision on your part: “Whatever happens, my heart is staying open. I will continue to reach out to my brother in the name of the Lord.”
The Word says that when the Lord brings again Zion, when He brings again the remnant (Joel 2:32), they will not break ranks; they will not thrust one another through (Joel 2:7–11). This means that they will not be reckless with their swords—not even accidentally; they will be very careful. The sword is for the enemy, not for the family! We’ll not thrust one another through; we’ll not break ranks. What does it mean, we won’t break ranks? It means that we will be determined in our dedication; and when the Lord gives the Word to go, there will not be some who run ahead, and others who turn and go the other way. In dedication we determine that we will walk together (Amos 3:3).
However, Paul warned that we are not to be bound together with unbelievers, because that is how inequality takes place; an unequal yoke will be the result of such relationships (II Corinthians 6:14). Limits of dedication, then, always create the barriers or the breakdown in our relationships with each other. Think about that truth; set it in your heart!
After we come into this walk with the Lord, whether we have a marriage check-out or we receive a blessing, shouldn’t we be able to go right on from there in our relationships with each other? Yes, provided that you keep your heart open to walk with God. God is not the author of confusion or of division (I Corinthians 14:33; 1:10) in the sense that He arbitrarily decides to destroy relationships. The relationships destroy themselves because those involved do not relate to the Lord properly. You must realize that the relationships destroy themselves! There can always be a breakdown; this is the difficulty that arises.
Should we emphasize dedication so much? Yes, because dedication maintains the unity better than any other factor. It is the dedication of the people which maintains the unity. You must understand this. There will be no breaking ranks if you all see eye to eye as the Lord brings again Zion (Isaiah 52:8), and if you all respond in your heart the same way. There won’t be any breakdown in that oneness. It will work! Dedication will work!
However, where there are many different spiritual levels of dedication in a church, there will also be great confusion and difficulties. There will be almost unbelievable problems of relationships. The same is true of a family with several children who fuss and fight among themselves. What is the answer for that problem? Should the parents gather them together and tell them, “You must love each other!” (John 13:34.) In a sense, there may be a great deal of love in that family, but at the same time there is still much contention. Then how can that contention be eliminated? With more love? No, because somewhere along the line the problem is being caused by the one or two individuals who are not dedicated to the same goal which the whole family should have. And because they are always dragging their feet, because they are not cooperating, because they are not dedicated, contention contaminates the whole family. This is the way it spreads.
The Lord is teaching us how we can walk together. There is no question about it; we can walk together! But we must reach out and snag those who are a little rebellious, who are pulling back. We must urge them, “Come on now. Get into the yoke. Walk with us.” We must pull them right into the yoke of dedication. It is true that we should not make another person submit to our level of dedication. Instead, we must be dedicated to bring him to that level. We must not force it upon him. There is a difference! For instance, I cannot take a little child in that family and force him to be as dedicated as I am. But I certainly can be dedicated to bring him into my dedication!
What does it say in the Scriptures? God tells us what will happen when we all pull together in our dedication: “I will dwell in them and walk among them; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. Therefore, come out from their midst and be separate,” says the Lord. “And do not touch what is unclean; and I will welcome you. And I will be a Father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to Me,” says the Lord Almighty. II Corinthians 6:16b–18.
What is it that causes us to commit ourselves to relationships that are wrong or unequal? What is behind this? It is not true dedication to the Lord. No, it is that false sense of responsibility which comes because you don’t know how to fulfill your obligation in the right way. There must be a release for us from that false sense of responsibility!
It is often true that parents do not relate to their child correctly because they are afraid of him. They are on the defensive, so they become over-aggressive and they pick at little things when they should get right down to the heart of the child instead. That’s the key right there; get to the heart of the child and bring that child’s dedication up to the Lord! This is also true in every relationship we have.
One of the most beautiful things in this walk in the Spirit is the emphasis God has put on our relating and our communicating. If all the pastors, the elders, and the people really work at that, do you know what will happen? This will erupt into the most beautiful expression of the Kingdom family of the Father that we have ever seen! When we use the term “Kingdom,” that word can float off in a thousand different definitions in people’s minds. But if we call it “the Father’s family,” we are talking about the very same thing, because the Kingdom is simply a matter of relationships. It is the Father’s family. It is the Father’s family, with the Lord Jesus Christ being the One who must rule (Hebrews 2:9–18; I Corinthians 15:24–28). Everything in us must be submissive to Him and obedient to Him (II Corinthians 10:5; Hebrews 10:12–13). How we love Him! How we open our hearts to Him afresh! That is what the Kingdom is all about.
This is why I am so anxious to see the one thing come to pass which will help to bring His Kingdom forth quicker and better than anything else. That one thing is worship. And the Lord has promised us a new level of worship! The Lord Jesus said that worship in Spirit and in truth would come (John 4:23). You cannot stand and worship the Lord without finding yourself flowing out and relating to one another, too. This must be the emphasis in the Kingdom schools. Along with the intercession, we must concentrate on sessions of deep worship, working with the children until they open their hearts to a real worship of the Lord.
This one simple message of Paul’s can open the door for us: “Our heart is opened wide. Now in a like exchange you open up to us also” (II Corinthians 6:11, 13). Education does not result because you slap a child and demand, “Get your lessons!” A child can have a potential for becoming a great musician. But if the practice time is not handled right, it can be a drudgery; his instrument can become an abomination to him. Being forced to practice will not make that child into a great musician! Learning comes with an open heart. Whenever I have learned something, it was always because of someone who opened his heart to me and put a key in the door of mine. Then my heart opened to him, too, and the result was a period of real learning. I am so grateful for everyone I have ever known who has opened up areas to me in such a way that I grew curious, I became hungry, and I reached into God!
It really is questionable how much you will receive of this Word unless you believe that my heart is open to you, that I love you, and that I am talking to you about something that is very important to you. Believe this! Then reach in and let the door of your heart be open to the Word. Sometimes it is just one little word that meets your heart. Many years ago I read a book, Absolute Surrender by Andrew Murray, which spoke to me a word about submitting to the Lord. That one word made me weep; it did a great thing. It was from that time on that I saw the Lordship of Jesus Christ. Never did it cease to be a reality to me!
It may be just a little thing that hits your heart and opens your eyes to see. “Open your heart up to this”—that is what Paul said to the Corinthians. “Our heart is open to you. Now, come on; you open up to us also. We’re going to relate to each other. We will not be unequally yoked together” (II Corinthians 6:11–14). Paul meant that we are not to have limitations or reservations concerning each other or concerning the Lord. We must be determined that whatever problem or impasse we hit, we will all hit it together. If persecution strikes, it will not scatter us. It will not divide us, because we will have that same equal, unlimited dedication in our hearts to the Lord. All of us must determine that we will be a dedicated, yielded people. We will set no limits on what will come.
Will persecution come? Yes. The scene is being set surprisingly fast for the fulfillment of a prophecy which came only a short time ago, concerning the onset of persecutions. These are already beginning to happen. What should we do? Panic? Withdraw or run? No, just evaluate your dedication. Open your heart to the Lord. Open your heart to the Living Word. Open your heart still more to each other. This is the Word which can make every marriage work; it will make every church work. This Word will bless the Father’s whole family.
The Lord is loosing us from our limitations. As we look at what lies ahead, we will not see any limit to where we are going or any limit to what we will believe. We will not see any limit to how we will love, how we will communicate, and how we will walk together in the Lord. We will have no limitations.
We need to go back into some of the foundational Scriptures and get into the depth of them. One Scripture, “Remember Lot’s wife,” always is tied in with the Words of the Lord about the end time (Luke 17:32–35). This Scripture is talking about those who are snared in judgment: “Remember Lot’s wife.” You see, the whole problem was that of an unequal dedication. The soul of righteous Lot was vexed day by day with the ungodly deeds of the people of Sodom (II Peter 2:7–8). And when the time came for his family to escape the judgments God was bringing upon Sodom’s wickedness, even his sons-in-law were as those who mocked; they refused to leave. In fact, Lot’s whole family was unequally dedicated. The angels actually had to take Lot, his wife, and two daughters by the hand in order to lead them out of the city. Despite the angel’s warnings, Lot’s wife followed only so far; then she looked back and turned into a pillar of salt (Genesis 19:14–26). Do you know what this means? It is the unequal dedication which created the problems of judgment that the Lord pointed to when He said, “This is the way it will be in the end time” (Luke 17:28–32).
I do not want an unequal dedication to trip up any of us. But if we do lose any, it will not be because we did not have a Living Word, but because we were not all ready to walk in that Word. The casualties will come because of unequal dedication. Even Lot’s daughters were casualties; dwelling in a little cave with Lot, they made their father drunk so they could conceive by him. Out of that lineage, the Ammonites and the Moabites came (Genesis 19:30–38). They were not dedicated; all the way through, the problem was that of unequal dedication.
We must pray for one another! Don’t wait until some problem arises which will cause another casualty. We must be concerned about our dedication to the Lord, about the way we hear the Word of God together, and about our dedication to that Word.
Prophecy: You are loosed in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ! This day, you shall be a hearer to know that the Word is created within you. It shall not be a concept which you only accept; it shall be a creation that happens to you now (Ezekiel 12:26–28). You are loosed to embrace the Word of the Lord with all of its creative power (Mark 11:22–24).
You are loosed from the limitations of your own dedication, so that you shall flow together with one submission unto the Lord (Ephesians 4:1–6) and say, “Yea, Lord, I will follow Thee. I will follow Thee.” You are loosed from the fears of rejection. You are loosed from the attack of the enemy that would divide you and say that you stand alone, or that there are others who will not understand. You are loosed from Satan’s accusations that you are abused, that you are criticized, and that you are maligned.
As a body, we loose ourselves into that glorious state together in which we are accepted in the Beloved (Ephesians 1:6). We are accepted in the Beloved! If God be for us, who can be against us? We stand up together to believe that it is the Lord that justifies; who is he that condemns? (Romans 8:31–33.) It is the Lord that justifies. The divisions shall not stand. The limitations shall not stand.
We are loosed into the dedication of discipleship. We determine to flow as one into the Father’s family, to be one before His face, to serve one another without breaking ranks.