The depth of our relationship to the Lord and to one another is of concern to every true believer. Jesus’ prayer for His disciples, found in John 17, will help us to understand the will of God for us in these relationships. In verses 13–23 we read, “But now I come to Thee; and these things I speak in the world, that they may have My joy made full in themselves. I have given them Thy word; and the world has hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.” This is a most significant Scripture. When will we finally learn that we are loved or hated because of the Word of the Lord which we embrace?
“I do not ask Thee to take them out of the world, but to keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.” We must have immunity from the world’s contamination, but we are not to be removed from the presence of evil which surrounds us. This we will overcome. We coexist but we are undefiled.
“Sanctify them in the truth; Thy word is truth. As Thou didst send Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world. And for their sakes I sanctify Myself, that they themselves also may be sanctified in truth. I do not ask in behalf of these alone, but for those also who believe in Me through their word” (here is the emphasis); “that they may all be one; even as Thou, Father, art in Me, and I in Thee, that they also may be in Us; that the world may believe that Thou didst send Me. And the glory which Thou hast given Me I have given to them; that they may be one, just as We are one; I in them, and Thou in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, that the world may know that Thou didst send Me, and didst love them, even as Thou didst love Me.”
We should be concerned about our relationships.
Every truth that God is restoring as He establishes His Kingdom revolves around our relationship to the Lord Jesus Christ and our being one spirit with Him.
In order for the Body of Christ to come together in oneness, there must be nothing divisive between our spirits in our relationships to one another.
The Word of the Lord has brought us much teaching about divine order, but the beginning and the end of all such teaching is that a husband and a wife should be one; a family should be united as one; a church should be only one organism, not a group with many divisions. All of these are deep spiritual relationships. Let us search our hearts so that we can see how we are relating to the Lord.
One of the best ways to understand the relationship we are to have is to study how relationships develop in the world. It is surprising how intensely teenagers can fall in love.
Some adults need to be able to love as deeply, as passionately, as vocally, and as emotionally as teenagers do.
Some of them fall so much in love that they get married while they are still in high school. Soon afterwards they have a child, and they seem to have many things which hold them together.
However, it is not very long before they become resentful and bitter. Antagonism builds up, and the relationship deteriorates rapidly until eventually it is dissolved.
In fact, the highest percentage of marriage failures occurs in that young age group.
This leads us to a statement: Where a true, valid relationship exists between people, repeated exposure and reality tend to mature and deepen the relationship, while testing it and pruning it. But where the relationship between people is immature, it takes excitement and fantasy to sustain the situation.
Many girls fall in love with popular rock-and-roll singers. Why? In their immaturity, there is a certain excitement and fantasy that sustains the mental picture of a relationship which they would like to have.
Many of these young girls would marry a rock-and-roll star on the spot if they were given the opportunity. But what happens to a girl who does marry a popular singer?
Usually, her marriage does not last very long, because in that marriage she faces a problem—the constant exposure to a man by living with him, sleeping with him, eating with him, listening to him sound off, observing his weaknesses and his strengths.
The repetition which that relationship undergoes, plus the reality which she comes to see, destroys the fantasy world. Consequently, it is not long before the marriage ends in divorce. That is why the show world—which deals with fantasy, excitement, and glamour—has such a high divorce rate.
The immature seek for an exhilarating relationship, and when they are entering into this relationship, there is a certain excitement and fantasy which sustains it, but only until the repetition of experiences within the relationship, day after day after day, brings a realization of the reality of it.
A relationship that cannot exist with reality has no depth. Where a valid relationship exists, this continuous, repeated exposure to day-to-day living, to the reality of what each of them is, prunes and purges that relationship of the need for excitement and fantasy.
There is a great deal to be said for an old man and woman who have been married many years. Even though they may do no more than sit in rocking chairs all day and smile at each other, do not be critical.
They may seem foolish and homely, but a deep, valid relationship exists there which the repetition of experiences through the many years could not destroy.
In fact, after a while the faults of one person do not seem to the other person to have any significance as faults; instead, they just seem to be characteristics of personality. The old man and woman get along fine, and they love each other deeply.
A young teenager growing up in that family is a stranger there because of his shallowness. He is critical of them, thinking that they do not know very much. He is looking for excitement and fantasy. He is trying to build a dream world.
When that teenager becomes older and more mature, he realizes that the old couple are very special. They have not changed; he has. They are still doing the same things they have been doing for years. When she talks about the family, he keeps on reading the newspaper. They ignore each other in the most blatant intimacy that is possible between two people. They have perfect confidence in each other. They can even shout at each other if they need to, and then go on about their business. Nothing seems to phase them, because their relationship is based on something very mature: the repetition of experiences, the constant exposure in their relationship to the reality that exists in each one of them.
He has no illusions about himself; she has no illusions about herself. They have no illusions about each other, but they love each other very dearly.
This is what Jesus was praying for in the relationships in the Body of Christ.
If you are one who expects your leaders to be perfect, if you are looking for excitement and fantasy, if you are seeking something that does not exist in an apostle or a prophet, you will have to grow up.
Have you ever noticed how de-glamorized the prophets were?
Elijah wore a leather girdle, and John the Baptist also wore a garment of camels’ hair (II Kings 1:8; Matthew 3:4).
Concerning John the Baptist, Jesus asked the Jews, “What did you go out in the wilderness to see? A man clothed in soft raiment? They are in kings’ palaces. They are the politicians, not the prophets” (Matthew 11:7–10).
Can we glamorize our walk with God? Not the way God is leading us. In the constant repetition of exposure to one another, we are learning to live with one another without criticism; but we are not growing old like the old couple who have been married for years.
Instead, we are going in the opposite direction. We are becoming vigorous and aggressive, a united body that does not break ranks or thrust one another through (Joel 2:7–8). The constant exposure of what we are on the human level does not take away from Jesus’ prayer: “That they may all be one, Father, as You and I are one, and that they may be made perfect in one, that the world may believe.”
This spiritual relationship can be compared to a marriage; and the marriage that survives the longest and is the happiest is the marriage where the dream of Sir Galahad, of a knight in shining armor, evaporates the quickest.
A girl who is looking for a knight in shining armor soon finds that she cannot live with him. The things that made him appear glamorous to her at first quickly lose their attraction and may even become the things that irritate her the most.
His shining armor suddenly looks rusty to her. When immature people get married, they seem to love each other so sweetly and so deeply, but before the honeymoon is over they find themselves yelling at each other. Some innate sense teaches them that it is not good to put another person on a pedestal. It does not lead to anything good.
Many Christians love the Lord Jesus, and they have a beautiful mental picture of Him: a halo, lovely curls, and a majestic look. However, the prophet Isaiah said, “We behold Him and there is no form or comeliness that we should desire Him” (Isaiah 53:2). Does it bother you to think that Jesus might have been short and ugly? If that sounds sacrilegious, let us consider the apostle Paul. What did the Corinthians think about him and his appearance? They said, “His bodily presence is weak and his speech contemptible” (II Corinthians 10:10).
Paul himself wrote to the Galatians, From henceforth let no man trouble me: for I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus. Galatians 6:17. He never forgot the scars and the disfigurement he received at the whipping post; it was a brand that he bore all of his life. At another time he called himself “despised and the offscouring of the earth” (I Corinthians 4:10, 13).
That is what it means to be an apostle from a human viewpoint. If it seems that apostles are coming forth today who are well-respected, wait until they follow the scriptural pattern.
Wait until they lose their reputation and are criticized all over the nation.
Wait until every established religious system is focused on them to destroy them.
If you think that people in the denominational world are rejoicing in this day when God is establishing His Kingdom, you are mistaken. Wait and see how much they rejoice when the battle really opens up and the travail becomes really deep and intense.
We are taking up our cross and walking with Him. Perhaps you did not expect it to be so difficult. Perhaps you wonder what is in this for you, when day after day you face many problems and tremendous pressure from constant battle and warfare.
Enlisting in the army is a lot different than actually facing the battle. When you first enlist, you learn how to carry your weapon and how to march in a beautiful formation; but when you go into a battle and someone is shooting at you, then you realize that you could get hurt.
The same is true of a walk with God in the end time. It is warfare; what did you expect? Every time God gives a Word about something the Body is to move into, the devil battles it furiously.
The immature have illusions that being a Christian is the beautiful way to go, that the best people now are becoming Christians, that it is the elite of the elite who speak in tongues now.
When God was establishing speaking in tongues as a present truth, those involved were called “Holy Rollers,” and there was much persecution against them.
This is still happening with what God is establishing now.
God is trying to tell us something. It is time that every one of us grows up.
We must not look for excitement and fantasy to sustain a situation; instead, we will walk with God.
How true and deep a relationship exists between God and most of us? Our relationship may still be too immature to see what will happen to it.
Let us go one step further. Let us apply this truth to one another. Sometimes a pastor has certain ones in his church who he feels are troublemakers. What should he do about them?
It is human nature to want to kick them out, to eliminate them; yet it would break the heart of a true shepherd to close the door on anyone.
Instead, he should patiently push each person into the fulfillment of the will of God for his or her life. One of the strongest feelings I have in the Lord is that I hang on to every man or woman that God brings under my hand, to help them and bless them.
Do not be critical of those who seem to be troublemakers or those with loose moral standards. Remember—they are the ones for whom Christ died. The publicans and sinners came to hear Him gladly. A man may have committed terrible sins, but a true shepherd will work to keep him in a walk with God. What a man has done is sometimes beside the point. What is in his life may not count that much. If he has the desire to walk with God, we must not abandon him.
There are no second-rate citizens in the Kingdom of God! Some of the fundamental denominational churches will not allow a person to hold an office or have a ministry if he has been divorced and has remarried. They have no confidence in God’s ability to forgive and to change a person’s life. It is true that the Word teaches that divorce is wrong; it also tells what God will do to sinners. But why did Christ die? Why did He die for us? He died so that there could be forgiveness and a new beginning. There can eternally be a hope that we can see things change.
What is God saying to us? He is speaking about a relationship in which we know what is in one another.
Concerning Jesus’ relation to His disciples, the Scriptures tell us that Jesus did not commit Himself to men because He knew all men and did not need that anyone should testify to Him of what was in man (John 2:24–25).
Christ knew what was in His disciples, yet He loved them to the end (John 13:1).
He knew what was in Thomas, who doubted Him (John 20:24–28).
He knew what was in Peter, who swore that he would never deny the Lord, yet denied Him three times in that same night (Matthew 26:33–35, 69–75).
God is speaking to us about relationships.
Let us love one another and not judge what is in a person or what has yet to be changed in his life. That is not the basis of our relating. God has made us one! By the blood of Jesus Christ it is done! We are going to cleave together to love one another and help one another. How long? There will be no end to this.
We have taught that the Kingdom will last a thousand years, but I believe that the thousand years are symbolic, and that in the ages to come, the Kingdom will break forth into something unexplainable.
Daniel speaks about the everlasting Kingdom (Daniel 7:14, 27). Isaiah tells us that the increase of His government is without end (Isaiah 9:7). It is an everlasting Kingdom—without end. The thousand years has to be a symbolic figure—too many Scriptures point toward the everlasting ages.
What a tremendous thing the Lord is able to do for us! We are going to be one. There will be no division. Do you believe that?
Division can come only when you accept it. If you fail to believe in the Word of the Lord, then you open your heart to believe in Satan’s lie.
The battle has always been between some form of deception—there are millions of forms—and the Word of God. You will either accept some form of deception or you will totally accept the Word of God.
You cannot say, “I believe we’re one, but there are some things about that brother nor siister that I can’t stand.” Perhaps that brother has bad personal habits and needs to brush his teeth or bathe and use some deodorant. He may not even be aware of his need. Is that an occasion to be separated from him? or from a sister? Can bad breath be offensive enough to cause you to draw back?
Jesus faced the filth and decay of the lepers and laid His hands on them, which was so serious that it could have defiled Him and alienated Him from civilization from that time on.
If those lepers had not been healed, He would have had to join them as they stood afar off and cried, “Unclean!” But He did not draw back, and the Scriptures speak about Simon the leper whom the Lord healed; he became one of Jesus’ followers (Matthew 26:6).
We still have some growing up to do concerning our walk with God, concerning the reading of the Scriptures. In the Body of Christ, there is great love between a spiritual father and the sons he brings forth by the Word.
He loves them, he blesses them, and he pushes them to move in the will of God. A mature, healthy relationship exists between a spiritual father and those who will listen to the Word he brings.
The ones who do not give themselves to the Word, who cannot really hear what is being said in the sermons, and who are most likely to turn away, are the ones who are quick to put him up on a pedestal. That is deadly.
If your pastor, or any of the ministries in the Body of Christ, is a Sir Galahad to you, there is no maturity in your relationship. It is much better if you see his faults, if you know him for what he is, for then you can relate to him as you should.
One of the best things that can happen to a couple before they get married is that they have premarital counseling in which several prophets, by divine revelation, reveal all the wrong things in each one of them.
That way there can be no mistake about it—each knows what a big mess he is marrying. Then they can have a long and happy marriage. Hypocrisy builds up a wall and creates an artificiality. It thrives on fantasy, saying, “She is the Queen of Sheba; he is Sir Galahad.”
The same thing is true in the spirit realm. You cannot build up a glamorous illusion or a false picture of one another.
Instead, you must see one another as recipients of the grace of God. It is time to grow up. It is time to open your heart to what has to be.
A man who gripes and complains is a man who refuses to grow up, and therefore he is angry because he sees all the things that are wrong in a ministry.
Those faults were there all the time, but he is angry because he wants that ministry to be a Sir Galahad. He wants to put him on a pedestal. He wants to see the Christ in that man, but he does not want to see any of his human frailties. What does this teach us?
Complainers are immature in their relationships. Murmurers are immature in their relationships.
There must be a grown-up relationship between members of Christ’s Body. You cannot reject another member. A spiritual father does not say, “I’m the spiritual father, and some of my family I accept, and others I reject.”
Instead, he loves them all, for they are all begotten of him. He will not reject you if you reject your brother, but he will reprimand you, and God will also deal with you, until you include each one.
Keep your heart open to one another. There must be no cliques or divisions in the Body of Christ.
What should your reaction be when a ministry discerns something that is wrong within you and tells you about it? You should not say, “Look what he sees in me. I’m so ashamed.” Instead, you should feel, “He really loves me.” Do not feel that he has criticized you. Instead, be grateful that someone opened the door for you to overcome the weakness.
Are you learning something about your relationships to one another?
Do you understand that the reason you have sometimes been critical of others is that you were not mature enough to handle a relationship with them as you should? Do you realize that in your relationship to the Lord you must accept one another and love one another totally?
Visitors to a church may become critical if they see members of that church who are still caught in habits of the flesh. They may even feel that the ones with problems should not be allowed to stay. However, Jesus said, “They that are whole need not a physician, but they that are sick” (Luke 5:31). The best response to that kind of criticism against a person is this: “I think he has a problem. We had better pray for him.” That is the only answer to give.
Seeing another’s need is not an occasion for rejecting them—unless you like to play God. Some people have an arrogance about them that they like to play God.
They can tell you exactly what is wrong with everything someone else does. However, there is nothing more dangerous than for us to play God—to sit aloof from a situation and criticize.
From the days of Adam to this day, there has not been a revelation on the face of this earth that is deep enough for anyone to say, “I know enough about that man to judge him, to reject him.”
Even Jesus Himself did not judge anyone. He said, “I judge no man” (John 8:15). “My Word shall judge them at the last day” (John 12:48). If Jesus did not judge, where do we get the arrogance of playing God?
We all have to face it—we are going to walk on and grow mature in the Kingdom together.
Our relationships will be closer than ever before, but not because we glamorize or glorify one another. Instead, it will be because we see ourselves and one another as bond servants of God who love the Lord and who love one another. When you see yourself as a bond servant of God, you stop focusing on your inadequacies and you accept the love of the Body. You dignify yourself, not with illusions of perfection on a human level, but by striving for the perfection that comes through Jesus Christ the Lord.