In the year that king Uzziah died I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up; and his train filled the temple… Then I said, Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts. Isaiah 6:1,5. Isaiah was aware that he had seen the Lord—and that was wonderful—but when he saw the Lord he also saw himself. Revelation comes both ways.
In the New Testament, Peter said the same thing. The Lord told him, Put out into the deep, and let down your nets for a draught. And when they had done this, they enclosed a great multitude of fishes; and their nets were breaking. But Simon Peter, when he saw it, fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, Depart from me; for I am a sinful man, O Lord. Luke 5:4b,6,8. Because Peter saw an act of God, his own heart was revealed to him. Every time God moves on us we react. When sinners go to church they often leave angrily, because they are convicted. When they see what they are, they do not want to face it. Usually when people who are hungry for God receive a revelation of the Lord and of themselves, they tend to feel defeated. Instead of leaving the house of God feeling built up and spiritual, as though they are doing fine, they have another reaction: “I’m no good at all; I’ll never be able to do anything.”
What should be your reaction to an inner revelation of yourself? First of all, there should be an honesty of heart. Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts; and in the hidden part thou wilt make me to know wisdom. Psalm 51:6. God wants honesty within. All of us, because we are human beings, sons and daughters of Adam and Eve, tend to build a false image which we present to others and to ourselves. Most of the time we do not believe it, yet we continue to dwell on it, kidding ourselves along. We deceive ourselves. When God brings an inner revelation, it has a way of shattering that wall and immediately we are aware of the fact that we are transparent to others, and this we do not like very well. We must learn how to react to the inner revelations of ourselves.
Face them honestly and face them humbly. Repentance can come quickly and earnestly. Self-condemnation lingers only with those who have not repented thoroughly. That is an important key. Instead of reacting to a revelation of yourself by beating yourself down and condemning yourself over and over again, look at yourself honestly; but then repent deeply and thoroughly of what is wrong. That takes away the guilt and casts it upon the Lord, and you can look to God for change. If you do not do that, you will live with self-condemnation continually; it will always be there. Self-condemnation is the permanent way of life for people who have not repented deeply.
A probe can cut deeply into the inner being, but it is ineffective until people begin to really repent. It is not enough for them to see their need; they must repent deeply and let God meet the need. A probe should cause people to see their need so deeply and honestly that they seek God just as deeply in real repentance. There is something shallow about human nature. We repent only as much as we have to, then we shut it off; we do not want to do it any more. As soon as the pressure is off and we can get by and just exist, we think everything is all right, and being “more than a conqueror” becomes only an empty phrase. If we refuse to follow the route of deep repentance, and repent only enough to make the situation acceptable, sooner or later it will explode. God cannot be in a thing which is that shallow for very long.
The way you receive revelation of yourself is very important. A Christian must always be a deep repenter, not only when he comes to Christ, but continually. When he becomes a Christian he receives the gift of God, sonship. But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God. John 1:12a. In every respect, you receive power to become a son of God. As God exposes the old nature, all you have to do is crucify it; reckon it dead. That is what the work of the cross already accomplished for you; you need only to claim it. If it does not seem to work, go back and claim it again. We say yes to God progressively. That is an important principle. Say yes as much as you can right now. You will feel as though you have done it all, yet each day you will find yourself reaching out, embracing an even deeper dedication to the Lord, saying a more unqualified yes to His will. This does not happen overnight; it requires a little time. However, it would not take as long as it usually does if people would take the revelation of their inner selves more honestly and sincerely, not dwelling in self-condemnation over it, but repenting deeply at once to get rid of it.
All experiences with God have a threefold nature. Salvation is an experience, but it is an experience that becomes a process and ultimately it becomes ingrained in your nature until it is the true you. A person can say, “I was sanctified,” yet there is a way in which he is continually being sanctified, and later he will reach a total sanctification. Preachers have taught that it is either all one experience or it is a process. It is both. We were born of God, but we know that every day we are being born of God, in many ways, and we have yet to enter into the greatest birth into God. Do not look upon any experience that God brings as being final; it must be progressive and expanding because it is God. Even our resurrection in the likeness of Christ will not be the end, for we shall continue to expand.
Anything that God does has a potential of infinite expansion because it takes on the nature of God. It can be a tremendous experience that changes everything; at other times you will constantly be expanding and growing in the experience and the experience itself will continue to grow. You do not receive all of the Holy Spirit with the initial experience; you expand in it constantly. When you start to prophesy, that is not the end; you continue to expand in it.
As you seek for revelation, God reveals Himself to you to whatever extent you are able to bear it. However, the initiative is always with you: you draw nigh to the Lord and He draws nigh to you (James 4:8). Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God (Matthew 5:8). There is a preparation of your own spirit that enables you to see the Lord. A revelation of the Lord is a tremendous experience; it is the thing that sustains you. If you have only the revelation of yourself and your need, you will never go on. Paul was converted after seeing the Lord, and years later, while on trial for his life, after being shipwrecked, beaten, stoned, and imprisoned, he stood before the governor and said, “I saw Him, and I was not disobedient to the heavenly vision.” It had sustained him through many difficult experiences.
The revelation of the Lord is not some shallow, imaginative incident. It is a way in which God conveys Himself to you and that revelation will sustain you through the darkest hours. Instead of praying about their problems, people should pray for a revelation of the Lord. They will see their own need in the light of that revelation. Martin Luther said he wondered if there could be any revelation of sin, or any conviction of sin, if there were not first an exaltation of Christ. How can one know darkness unless he has seen the light? Although we are concerned about that which is wrong in people’s lives, our emphasis is always on exalting the Lord. As a result, people find themselves convicted and drawn to the Lord. First, there must be a revelation of the Lord, for if people only have a revelation of their sin and their need, they never break out of it. They must see the Lord in order to get the leverage. In Him they see the answer; in Him they see the righteousness. Jesus said, “The Holy Spirit comes to convict the world of sin and of righteousness… because I go to the Father, and ye see Me no more” (John 16:8–10). When they saw Jesus, they saw their sin.
Without a revelation of Jesus you do not see your need; you only wallow in a false sense of self-condemnation. When you really see Christ and how wonderful He is, you abhor yourself and repent in sackcloth and ashes in the dust of the earth. You humble yourself. That is the repentance God wants, for that will bring you up to His righteousness. Self-condemnation will lead you to get rid of just enough so that you can live with yourself, and that becomes reformation instead of regeneration. That involves your own effort to discipline yourself and to do better.
If you are in a position of defeat, begin by praying for the Lord to reveal Himself, “Oh God, make Yourself real to me!” If you begin by trying to repent, you will be doing it in yourself. As soon as He makes Himself real to you, repentance will come easily. Otherwise you will not know what to do. If you know you ought to repent but cannot, ask the Lord to reveal Himself. That is the reason every service begins with worship rather than with repentance. Some say, “Now let’s prepare our hearts to worship the Lord.” You cannot. Just begin to worship and if you feel conviction and the need to repent, then stop and repent. As you see your need, repentance will follow naturally. If it is not needed, you will feel a great joy.