Of the twelve disciples who walked with Jesus, three seemed to be especially close to Him. These were Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, James and John.
James was the first apostle to be martyred, Herod had him put to death with a sword. Then Herod arrested Peter and put him in prison, intending to kill him also; but the believers prayed, and Peter was led out of prison by an angel (Acts 12:1–11). John was the disciple whom Jesus loved, who leaned on Jesus’ bosom during the Last Supper (John 13:23).
In Mark 10:35–39a, we read what James and John wanted Jesus to do for them. And James and John, the two sons of Zebedee, came up to Him, saying to Him, “Teacher, we want You to do for us whatever we ask of You.” And He said to them, “What do you want Me to do for you?” And they said to Him, “Grant that we may sit in Your glory, one on Your right and one on Your left.” But Jesus said to them, “You do not know what you are asking for. Are you able to drink the cup that I drink, or to be baptized with the baptism with which I am baptized?” And they said to Him, “We are able.” Remember that at another time Jesus had said, “I have a baptism to be baptized with, and how I am constrained until it be accomplished” (Luke 12:50).
Our Lord went through a baptism of fire, and James and John said that they were able to go through it too. And Jesus said to them, “The cup that I drink you shall drink; and you shall be baptized with the baptism with which I am baptized. But to sit on My right or on My left, this is not Mine to give; but it is for those for whom it has been prepared.”
And hearing this, the ten began to feel indignant toward James and John. (It is typical that the superspiritual ones become angry at the ones who are overly ambitious.) And calling them to Himself, Jesus said to them, “You know that those who are recognized as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them; and their great men exercise authority over them. But it is not so among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant; and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.” Mark 10:39b–45.
One of the most difficult things that happens to a believer is the disillusioning defeat that comes when he aspires to a place for which he is not spiritually prepared. Paul warned about this when he outlined the qualifications for an overseer, saying that he should be not a novice (a beginner in the faith), lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil. I Timothy 3:6.
In this day, as more and more New Testament churches are coming forth, there is such an urgent need for elders and deacons that the pastors may feel impelled to press men into those ministries as fast as possible. However, unless a man’s spiritual preparation is adequate, he may be thrown into a situation or a relationship that as a beginner he is not able to handle, and he will fall under the condemnation of the devil. That problem can be eliminated by setting a man aside for a time, to prepare him for his ministry. During that period of preparation, the Spirit of the Lord exposes him to certain things that must be worked in his life before he assumes his office of ministry, but during that time he is not in the actual position of authority where Satan could hit him harder.
Relationships within the Body of Christ that are especially close must be weighed very carefully. James and John both went on to serve God in a deep way. They did partake of the baptism and drink of the cup, but there were some changes that had to be worked in their lives first.
Sometimes it is difficult for a person even to accept a simple Word of the Lord, because he is a babe who still needs milk and not meat. It is human nature to say, “Lord, I am willing to go with You anywhere, even to death.” However, if a man is not spiritually prepared, he will not be able to cope with the spiritual warfare. James and John, as well as Peter, wanted to have a close, special relationship with Jesus. James and John wanted to sit at His right hand and at His left.
In Matthew 26:31–47 we see what happened to these men a short time later. Jesus and the disciples went to the Mount of Olives. Then Jesus said to them, “You will all fall away because of Me this night, for it is written, ‘I will strike down the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock shall be scattered.’ But after I have been raised, I will go before you to Galilee.” But Peter answered and said to Him, “Even though all may fall away because of You, I will never fall away.” Jesus said to him, “Truly I say to you that this very night, before a cock crows, you shall deny Me three times.” Peter said to Him, “Even if I must die with You, I will not deny You.” All the disciples said the same thing too.
Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and said to His disciples, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” And He took with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee (James and John), and began to be grieved and distressed. Then He said to them, “My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death; remain here and keep watch with Me.” (These were the disciples who were ready, seemingly, to be chosen for a close relationship with the Lord.) And He went a little beyond them, and fell on His face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as Thou wilt.” And He came to the disciples and found them sleeping, and said to Peter, “So, you men could not keep watch with Me for one hour?” (Only one hour!) “Keep watching and praying, that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Peter was about to enter into what seemed to be the greatest defeat of his life. This is the way the defeats come.
He went away again a second time and prayed, saying, “My Father, if this cannot pass away unless I drink it, Thy will be done.” And He came back and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. And He left them again, and went away and prayed a third time, saying the same thing once more. Then He came to the disciples, and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and taking your rest? Behold, the hour is at hand and the Son of Man is being betrayed into the hands of sinners. Arise, let us be going; behold, the one who betrays Me is at hand!” And while He was still speaking, behold, Judas, one of the twelve, came up, accompanied by a great multitude with swords and clubs, from the chief priests and elders of the people.
James and John wanted to sit at Jesus’ right hand and at His left, yet at that time they were not prepared for that relationship. They had not gone through the baptism of fire. They had not drunk of the cup that was necessary. The time finally came when Peter was to deny the Lord, but he had already failed once before when the Lord told him, “Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
As the great end-time ministry of the Kingdom is launched forth, will you stand or will you fail? Many things must be understood about relationships. Do not be too anxious to be close to the leaders. That desire has brought the downfall of some of the best young ministries that God has raised up. A close relationship with a leader can be very dangerous if you are not prepared for it. If the relationship is too great for you, then under the pressure you will break. Peter cursed and swore and denied the Lord three times in one twenty-four-hour period. Why? It was not because Peter was a coward. John 18:10 tells us that in Gethsemane he drew his sword and cut off the ear of Malchus, the high priest’s servant. He was not a coward. Why did he fail? The failure took place in Gethsemane when the heaviness upon him was so great that he was sleeping when he should have been praying and watching. That is where the battles are won or lost. The spirit of heaviness comes to make you sleep.
If a person is ambitious for a close relationship with a leader who is walking closely with God, he outsmarts himself. He will find himself in situations that he absolutely cannot handle, because he is neither dedicated nor prepared for the relationship and he has not gone through the baptism of fire to enter into it. When he faces the responsibility of it, sleep overcomes him. If you want a close relationship with Christ’s end-time disciples, you had better be sure that you have first overcome that basic heaviness, that distraction from every circumstance around you. You must be sure that you are dedicated to walk in the Spirit. It is a matter of spiritual growth and development, but it is also a matter of a certain baptism of fire that you have to go through. Can you drink the cup? Can you be baptized with His baptism? You can recognize the men who have been through it; they are the ones who do the job.
A pastor must be dedicated to have no walls to anyone, to walk as closely to the Body as possible and yet to push everyone away. This is not a contradiction. People want to be close to a pastor, to relate on a social level or on a human plane. Only in the Spirit can the people really know their pastor. A close relationship with a ministry of authority can be disastrous for a believer who is not prepared for the same spiritual battles. The problem is not a lack of love for the ministry; the problem is the fact that that person is not prepared to handle seeing the ministry go through the deeper agonies of his walk with God. A young believer will flounder because he is not prepared to handle a deeper level of discipleship. In this hour, the gospel of the Kingdom is being committed to faithful men who are living an unbelievable life of discipleship.
A pastor must enter into a dedication that will not allow people to shove in too close to him in a personal relationship. He must lead them step by step into the ways of the Kingdom and what the Lord requires of them. Some people may want to go fast, but that is not as important as actually getting there. You must back off from what actually amounts to a human desire to be closely related to a pastor. Back off from that desire and just walk with the Lord instead. Pray a great deal. Watch and pray. Go through your baptism of fire. Drink the cup. Be prepared. You will go through the fire, but that is necessary in order to walk with God. Even when God sets a man in a place of ministry, he must not fail to open up and let God deal with him, because no one is ever worthy of any place. Even after a man has run through a full course of dealings and has been set into the ministry that God has designated, he will still be tried to the utmost.
In I Samuel 16:1 we read, Now the Lord said to Samuel, “How long will you grieve over Saul, since I have rejected him from being king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil, and go; I will send you to Jesse the Bethlehemite, for I have selected a king for Myself among his sons.” Saul had been chosen, but he failed. When he was little in his own sight, God lifted him up and made him king; but then he became arrogant. Pride came over him, and he was not able to handle the position and the relationship with God that he was to have. What a tragedy that in the end an evil spirit came from the presence of the Lord to trouble him. Then David, the boy with the anointing oil still on his head, had to be summoned to play music for him to still the madness of his heart.
Samuel was a great man of prayer. He said, “God forbid that I should sin against the Lord in failing to pray for Israel” (I Samuel 12:23). Samuel had loved Saul like a son; he had blessed him and anointed him to be king. He had prayed for Saul continually, and then he saw him lost. Saul was not dead, but a relationship had been cut off. When Samuel turned away from Saul in the day that Saul failed to obey the Lord, the young king grabbed Samuel’s coat and tore it. How tearful Samuel must have been when he turned around and said, “So the Lord has rent the kingdom of Israel from you” (I Samuel 15:26–28). The time finally came when Samuel had to stop grieving over Saul. God was saying, “I have rejected him; I have cut him off. It was before Me that he could not qualify anymore. Now take the horn of oil and go find David, the son of Jesse, and anoint him king.”
When a relationship is lost, it causes much grief. A person who loses his money or his health still has hope; but it is very difficult when a relationship is lost, such as that between a child and a pet, a brother and a sister, a husband and a wife, or a parent and a child.
In your walk with God, your relationship with your brothers and sisters in the Lord is very important. You must try to keep those relationships right. Do not be ambitious to push yourself into a place of service that you cannot handle. Instead, earnestly seek God that He will put you through His dealings and prepare your heart. Ask Him to baptize you with the baptism He has for you. Let Him put you through the fire. Ask Him for the cup, and then drink it.
Have you ever wanted to run from the testings? Have you ever felt that you could not handle your walk with God anymore, and that you did not know which way to turn? That is due to the heaviness that comes upon you when you are trying to go through Gethsemane with the Lord. He is saying to you, as He said to the three disciples, “Can you not watch one hour?” It does not take long; you can break through. Watch and pray that you do not fail.
A true pastor rejoices when he sees people reaching in to walk with God, but there are others whom he labors over with great agony and travail of soul to see the will of God wrought in their lives. How he grieves over those who draw back when the cup is given them to drink. Paul wrote to the Colossians, “We labor to present every man perfect in Christ” (Colossians 1:28). Let us be like Paul, not wanting to see anyone lose out with God. It is wonderful to see a young man lay hold of God and suddenly find that God has made him a pastor. In contrast, how grievous it is to see a man, who has been called to be a prophet, draw back and wander like a darkened star in the heavens. How concerned we must be to see people come forth in a walk with God! We must give diligence lest any man fail in the grace of God.