I have been both privileged and dismayed in my experience of churches. The churches that I love have these things in common: they allow people to be themselves, and they have characters that are strong, unique, pleasant, and yet dangerous to the kingdom of darkness.
They see themselves as relational communities where family and friendship are signs of the kingdom as much as wonders and miracles. People have fun and there is lots of laughter – the gentle joshing of people loved by God through people. Individuality and creativity are much prized, and the whole which we are cultivating contains a structure that is friendly, flexible, and inclusive. It is impossible to not see a place where you could connect and enjoy life. Everyone fits in and is empowered to discover their dream and practice their gifting on the people around.
It’s a community of worshipers. Believers who experience God. It is a community with many warriors, workers, and skillful practitioners of life and the arts. It is generous, fun loving, hard-working, quietly restful, and presence focused. People are in Christ, learning to be Christlike. People are allowed to make mistakes and are given permission to grow and develop.
Contrast that with churches that are built on a functional paradigm. All the interactions are driven by task, vision, strategy, and purpose. They are geared to doing the most they can in the shortest possible time, with the least amount of resources. Buildings are developed to give people a nice physical environment. Programs exist where everything is done for you. It is a monoculture (In agriculture in means the practice of growing one crop species at a time) where we produce clones, not disciples. Individuality is not greatly appreciated, and true supernatural spirituality is not encouraged. Everything is planned, logical, and rational, but not spiritual, intuitive, or prophetic.
People are marshaled and taught to be consumers. There is an unwritten code of behavior, assumed rules, and hidden penalties.
Leaders in these places oversee the development of people spiritually but to not allow them to have encounters with God. They do not have the passion or the touch that empowers life to flourish in all its forms. In short, it is not led by the Spirit. It is full of good, not God, ideas. People are leaving there in thousands – not because they have lost faith, but because they need to find it.
The church is God’s body, where every member is welcomed, accepted, loved, and valued as a contribution. There is room for us to live in Christ while we are learning to be Christlike. This means we make space for the ugly and the beautiful in all the us to grow and change.
Everyone brings their abilities, gifts, intuitions, and desires to serve the kingdom and the community around their homes, hobbies, and places of work. The gaps and weaknesses in all of us are covered by individual and corporate love, grace, humility, goodness, and kindness.
It is a wonderful paradox that each of us is made complete by imperfect people. We learn that we are a general gift to many and a specific gift to some. All imperfect people are welcomed and loved. We are as enthusiastic about the journey of others as we are with our own.
Good leaders facilitate; they don’t control. We are bringing many sons (male and female) into glory and allowing them to become fathers(leaders/developers) of others.
In this wonderful, chaotic, life enhancing, relational dynamic that is the kingdom of heaven acting on earthly people, we have the major relational issues of behavior and commitment.
Commitment is who we are regardless of circumstances. It is how we show up personally in Christ and the situations of life. It is not a choice. It is who we are, and who we want to be, combined together.
It is what we stand for when the chips are down. It is the values and principles we develop, so that we can learn to be as constant and as consistent as the Lord. Commitment is about our identity being revealed in every situation. It is the environment we create in all our relationships. Commitment is about how we want to be seen, known, and experienced by others.
It drives our behavior, even the negative stuff that we are unlearning about ourselves. Commitment is our middle ground – the center of who we are, our inner man exposed to light. When we talk about commitment from a functional standpoint, we regulate it to something we have to do. We apologize for not keeping our commitments. We talk about changing our commitment. We are committed to the idea of something but not always to the practice of something, as if that was possible.
Commitment is who you are in yourself. It is how you show up in a relationship or in a life situation. All circumstances are ultimately concerned with people in their commitments. Commitment is the very essence of who you are. You do not choose your commitment; you are becoming it. Manifesting your spirit is concerned with revealing who you essentially are now, in Jesus. It is also about discovering your next upgrade in personality, so that your commitment is empowered at a deeper level.
We are all engaged in the process of becoming who we are created to be. This is great! It is the core of our freedom – the right to make mistakes, learn, grow, and experience grace, goodness, and truth in the journey. We live in the love, peace, and gentle joy of God as we discover ourselves; we enjoy the process of change in others.
To develop commitment, we need ask brilliant questions in the circumstances of life. One of my favorite ones that I ask the father is: what is it, that you want to be for me now that you couldn’t be for me at any other time?
What is this situation about? Every circumstance is set up for a profit – Romans 8:28. The benefit may be experienced initially or eventually, but it will come, as we change and grow. When I ask that question, I am inquiring of the Lord what he plans to give me of himself. He loves to manifest His Spirit to us; and when he does, as we make it our own experience, we become different people.
Another question for me is: who do you want me to be with regard to my situation? Which fruit of the Spirit do I display? What part of the nature and character of God do I manifest? Some situations are primarily about my growth in Christ likeness. There are other purposes to, I’m sure, but becoming Christlike is always near the top of any God – given agenda.
We are becoming our commitment. It is the expression of our commitment that strengthens or weakens. We are learning on a personal level how to be the best expression of who God made us to be in each situation. When we are who he wants us to be, we are in partnership with him in his purpose.
Clearly there are differences between commitments and engagements. I like to make my commitments as purely about relationships as possible. We can be engaged with an undertaking and committed to the relationships specific to that appointment.
A transition is a seasonal means that enables us to engage with God in a defined way in order to achieve rapid growth in a specific area. It is a prime piece of spiritual real estate selected for particular development. In an organization it may be to develop a specific department or create a new one in a company.
I’m not committed to the whole company of believers relationally, but I am devoted to the specific people with whom I have a mandate to bring change. They get the best of me in the context of what we are doing, but I am also content for commitment to spill over into the life of the body. Commitment is who I am, not what I do. It is not a task; it is the essence of my personality.
Often in the engagement of people life problems are occurring; people confide in me, and I’m drawn into a more relational aspect of fellowship with them. People meet my commitment (who I am regardless of circumstances) and want to draw on it. Others want to make use of it in other ways.
In the situations I have to make it clear what my involvement will or will not be. Involvement is not commitment but may lead to it. I want to be the best expression of Jesus than I can, within the limited scope of my involvement.
If you have a plumber in your house fixing your water pipes that burst in the winter, you probably would not ask him for financial advice, nor consult him about your pension plan or the stock market. You want a commitment to get your pipes fixed. You engage the plumber to complete a specific task. Most of Western Christianity practices engagement not commitment. It is task driven and only relational with the specific object, goal, or strategy.
Heaven is not like that. Heaven is about loving friendships. The Godhead practices relationships with an agenda. The church undertakes a goal that involves relationships as a means to that end.
Perhaps the sin of evangelicalism is that we have put the great commission ahead of the 1st commandment. Jesus came to restore divine order. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. The great commission is the 2nd commandment. Love your neighbor as yourself.
God seeks people to worship him – John 4:23. In worship we have brilliant encounters with God. The biggest battle at this time in the church is the battle for intimacy with God. True worshipers are people with a heart set on Majesty. They are passionate about loving the nature and character of God. True worshipers know who God is for them. They know he is joyful, and they rejoice in his laughter and live happily under his smile.
Evangelicals mostly sing songs as a prelude to hearing the preaching of the word. They are not taught rejoicing, Thanksgiving, and praise. They know little of the deep places in worship such as high praise, lamentation, adoration, and how to proclaim. They seldom experience silent worshipful contemplation or the shouts of joy that emanate from around the throne. There are several distinct ways of moving in worship. True worshipers know them by experience and encounter.
The modern church is too functional to be intimate with the Lord. Worship is seen only as a means to an end – part of what it takes for a meeting to be deemed good.
It is a wonderful paradox that requires worshipers of God and laborers for the harvest. In a paradox, the question is this: what is precedence? The answer: Mary over Martha, worship more than evangelism. Jesus said if I am lifted up (in worship, as well as sacrifice) I will draw all men to myself – John 12:32. A paradox is two opposing ideas contained in the same truth. Mary and Martha are in all of us. Our life message is to be with Jesus and to respond to him relationally. In the context of that intimacy, we also serve the purpose of the kingdom of heaven.
That purpose is not just the redemption of souls through the gospel of reconciliation. It is to make disciples – people who follow Jesus properly. It is to raise up people to become Christlike in all areas of life. The fullness of the great commission is relational. It is connected to sonship– Hebrews 2:10. To bring many sons into glory.
This means specifically to teach people how to encounter God personally to such a high degree of relationship that their lives become glorious. We take on the nature and character of God in our hearts, minds, words, and actions. Commitment is the expression of that relationship. How we choose to show up in all our situations tells people who we really are. A thermometer measures the change of temperature. A barometer measures atmospheric pressure and is another indicator of change. Commitment measures our behavior to see if we are as unchanging as God. We learn constancy and faithfulness from the Lord Jesus. It is his behavior to be consistent.
Is someone invites you to do something that is not true to Jesus, you resist. Our inner man knows our true identity. We are learning not to compromise our oneness in Christ. Great people are those whose commitment shines through the hardest of circumstances. It is how we manifest our spirit. We live our commitment, and it empowers us to break through the expectations and the compromise.
Who do you become when situations do not work out the way you think they should? Who do you reveal when people and circumstances are against you? When you are betrayed, misunderstood, and threatened what do you manifest in that moment?
We cannot control our circumstances. They come at us how they will. We do not get any say in the how or what of life’s trials. However, we do get a say in how we will respond.
If we get confused by our identity, the circumstances of life may overwhelm us, and we compromise our response to Jesus. Instead of it being a true and powerful expression of who we are, we show a different face. If we do that enough times, that face becomes a Christian mask. We display a Venner of Christ, but it covers an inferior material. A religious mask is a specious outward appearance of good quality that overlays an un-surrender life. We are a hypocrite. In less controlled situations we manifest our carnality, and we conceal our Christ likeness.
A truth not practiced is merely true because we are still bound. Only the truth sets us free. A truth believed, but not experienced, is a lie – 1 John 2:2 – 6:
And he himself is the proposition for sins; and not for ours only, but also for those of the whole world. By this we know that we have come to know him, if we keep his commandments. The one who says, I’ve come to know him, and does not keep his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him; but whoever keeps his word, in him the love of God has truly been perfected. By this we know that we are in him: one who says he abides in him on himself to walk in the same manner as he walked.
When we fail to press into the nature of God, we leave ourselves vulnerable to hypocrisy. Too much of that and we become religious and pharisaical – self-righteous and only concerned with rules.
1 John 1:5 – this is the message we have heard from him and announce to you, that God is like, and in him there is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth; but if we walk in the light as he himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his son cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves in the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar and his word is not in us.
Uncommitted behavior can make a liar of God. When we do not practice the truth, we make liars of ourselves, and it is possible for deception to ensnare us. In the context of emerging life and change, our mistakes are honored through fellowship in the blood of Jesus. The faithfulness(committed behavior) of God forgives and cleanses us.
When we allow life to frighten us; when we are anxious and worried; when we get hurt, wounded, and resentful; when we do not believe the best; when our desires and needs are more important than another; when we control other people – for our benefit; when we view people as inferior – these are all forms of uncommitted behavior where we do not reveal Christ but something else in his name.
Uncommitted behavior falls into four categories.
Firstly, we insist on being right and making others wrong. We do not listen to others properly because we are convinced of our own rightness. We hear what we want to hear. We do not listen effectively because we are too intent on formulating our reply. We ride roughshod over others’ opinions and ideas. We can use sarcasm and cynicism to quell what we see as opposition.
Secondly, we are either dominating people or avoiding domination. We control others for our purpose. We believe God has given us people so that we can succeed. We use people and often discard them when their use has been fulfilled. People are either our possession or our opposition. Sometimes God gives us relationships and partnerships that are seasonal. A dominating person does not relate to people as partners, but followers.
When we are avoiding domination, we do not display our truest identity. We moan and complain privately to others but do not confront in love the behavior of another. We fold our tents and sneak away rather than manifest who Jesus is for us. We go along with people and circumstances even though we hate what is happening. Our uncommitted behavior makes us a victim and weakens our own identity and destiny.
Thirdly, we blame others for events and are always trying to get ourselves off the hook. We delete, distort, and generalize as a way of life. We delete the memory of our own behavior, and we distort the words and deeds of others in order to solicit sympathy and enlist support. When we are questioned, we generalize on our own behavior but are specific about what we perceive has been done to us. When we excuse our own part in something and put the blame for the circumstances squarely on others, we are denying something fundamental in our relationship with God.
Of course, I’m not speaking here of people who have been the objects of intense and focused, deliberate cruelty. It is, however, important that such people do not regard themselves as victims, because that thought maintains their degradation and will itself produce uncommitted behavior in later circumstances. Redemption redeems everything: past, present and future.
Fourthly, uncommitted behavior occurs when we justify our own bad behavior by the negative behavior of others. Reacting to people’s behavior, instead of responding to God’s nature, means that we do not manifest what is true of Jesus in our spirit. We compound that error by drawing attention to what other people are not, in defense of our own uncommitted behavior.
Committed behavior is moving in the opposite spirit to the poor actions of other people.
Luke 6:27 But I say to you who are listening now to Me: [in order to heed, make it a practice to] love your enemies, treat well (do good to, act nobly toward) those who detest you and pursue you with hatred,
28 Invoke blessings upon and pray for the happiness of those who curse you, implore God’s blessing (favor) upon those who abuse you [who revile, reproach, disparage, and high-handedly misuse you].
29 To the one who strikes you on the jaw or cheek, offer the other jaw or cheek also; and from him who takes away your outer garment, do not withhold your undergarment as well.
30 Give away to everyone who begs of you [who is in want of necessities], and of him who takes away from you your goods, do not demand or require them back again.
31 And as you would like and desire that men would do to you, do exactly so to them.
32 If you [merely] love those who love you, what quality of credit and thanks is that to you? For even the [very] sinners love their lovers (those who love them).
33 And if you are kind and good and do favors to and benefit those who are kind and good and do favors to and benefit you, what quality of credit and thanks is that to you? For even the preeminently sinful do the same.
34 And if you lend money at interest to those from whom you hope to receive, what quality of credit and thanks is that to you? Even notorious sinners lend money at interest to sinners, so as to recover as much again.
35 But love your enemies and be kind and do good [doing favors so that someone derives benefit from them] and lend, expecting and hoping for nothing in return but considering nothing as lost and despairing of no one; and then your recompense (your reward) will be great (rich, strong, intense, and abundant), and you will be sons of the Most High, for He is kind and charitable and good to the ungrateful and the selfish and wicked.
36 So be merciful (sympathetic, tender, responsive, and compassionate) even as your Father is [all these].
37 Judge not [neither pronouncing judgment nor subjecting to censure], and you will not be judged; do not condemn and pronounce guilty, and you will not be condemned and pronounced guilty; acquit and forgive and release (give up resentment, let it drop), and you will be acquitted and forgiven and released.
38 Give, and [gifts] will be given to you; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over, will they pour into [the pouch formed by] the bosom [of your robe and used as a bag]. For with the measure you deal out [with the measure you use when you confer benefits on others], it will be measured back to you.
We move in uncommitted behavior for a reason. It feels good at the time. It’s like scratching an itch. We get to prove that the other person was wrong all along, which is sweet, especially if they are aggravating us! We can get pushed to the end of our patience and come up with an opportunity that forces someone to do what we want.
Uncommitted behavior comes at a high cost, which is always too expensive. The enemy gets us both ways. Our poor behavior damages other people, and it prevents us from realizing our own identity. We are double losers.
Any behavior that does not take us forward into the nature of God must be discarded. Uncommitted behavior is the equivalent of going out and leaving the door open and the light on in our home together with a map showing burglars were our valuables are located. Yes, it really is that dumb.
Uncommitted behavior has a cost to our relationship with the Lord, as well as people we want to be close to in life. There is a negative effect on our health, intimacy, personal joy, productivity, and our genuine self-expression as a child of God. It also means we are not able to get closure on the past because our uncommitted behavior is more welcoming to the devil than it is to the father.
There is no long-term satisfaction in uncommitted behavior. All our life circumstances are allowed by God to empower us to manifest what God has put into our spirit.
a 14-year-old Christian girl in India was raped by 4 men who hated her faith in God. As a 4th man was getting up off her she reached out her hand and touched his face ravaged by disease and prayed for healing. He was instantly healed. She is married with several children and has a powerful healing ministry in the southern states. In no way is she a victim but has become more than a conqueror. She manifested what was true in her spirit and the truth of that brought healing to an enemy. As he is, so are we, in this world.
Assignment – what are you committed to for: yourself? Your family/friends? Your local church/place of work?
Commission – is there an expression of uncommitted behavior that is a habit for you? What could you do instead that would be a better expression of your commitment? How would you move in the opposite spirit?