Jesus said, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his Father with his angels; and then he shall reward every man according to his works. Matthew 16:24–27.
If a man will follow Christ, he must deny himself, take up his cross and follow Him. Jesus was saying, “If there is that within you which would save your life, you are going to lose it. If there is that which holds back or withdraws, or serves God with reservation, it is disastrous to what God is trying to bring forth in your life.
Now there went with him great multitudes; and He turned, and said unto them, If any man cometh unto me, and hateth not his own father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. Whosoever does not bear his own cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple.
For which of you, desiring to build a tower, doth not first sit down and count the cost, whether he have wherewith to complete it? Lest haply, when he hath laid a foundation, and is not able to finish, all that behold begin to mock him, saying, This man began to build, and was not able to finish. Or what king, as he goeth to encounter another king in war, will not sit down first and take counsel whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him that cometh against him with twenty thousand? Or else, while the other is a great way off, he sendeth an ambassage, and asketh conditions of peace.
So therefore whosoever he be of you who renounceth not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple. Salt therefore is good: but if even the salt have lost its savor, wherewith shall it be seasoned? It is fit neither for the land nor for the dung-hill: men cast it out. He that hath ears to hear, let him hear. Luke 14:25–35.
This passage of Scripture outlines what it means to be a disciple. It is indicating that you must renounce everything you have in order to be a disciple. We have often observed that the difference between discipleship and being a Christian is as different as day and night. A man may be a Christian simply believing upon the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, but it is surprising how many Christians have not become involved with God in the many facets of their lives. This is not possible with a disciple. A man who is a follower of the Lord as a disciple must have every facet of his life brought under complete dominion of the Lord. The Lordship of Jesus must be very real to him. If he is not willing to renounce all he has, if there is still reservation within him in following the Lord, he cannot be a disciple that God can use.
We have not emphasized becoming a Christian as much as becoming a disciple. You have been facing, over and over again, the issues that make you a disciple, not just a Christian. Many of you were already Christians, believers upon Christ, but various facets of your lives have been brought, one after another, into real surrender and submission to the Lord, and you have had to renounce many attitudes.
When we first become Christians we still hold human reason, our understanding of things, as the final court of appeal. But when we become disciples there is a reorganization of the government and a new supreme court. Instead of the final court of appeal being at the throne of reason, or upon the throne of our heart, the final court becomes the Lord. We lose the right to make any decision adverse to following Him. To become a Christian is one thing, but to become a disciple is quite another.
I want to tell you about losing the last reservation, so that you might serve the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. The problem is to eliminate that reservation. If you keep that instinct for self-preservation, you will lose everything God has for you. I have watched how my reasoning keeps running down the same little rut, “Preserve yourself; take care of yourself; look out for yourself.” It is deeply ingrained within us. That is the law of the jungle, the law of natural living. When you are willing to lose your life and serve Him without any reservation, then you can really say, “I am a disciple.”
A disciple not only has made his decision to follow the Lord, but he has renounced the privilege of any further decision on the matter in the future. Being a disciple means; “I will follow You, Lord, but it doesn’t make any difference what happens down the way; this issue can never come up again because I have yielded myself to You, to be Your bondservant. I have no more right to myself. I am your man. From now on the decisions are made by You.”
A number of years ago my spiritual father was with an independent church in its founding, and then I saw it go into an organization. I watched the machinery as a visitor and bystander. The man representing the denomination made speeches about the advantages of the organization and then very patiently listened while everyone else spoke until almost midnight. After they finally voted for it, he immediately began to lay out what they were going to do. The people went home stunned. That is Babylon in operation. Until you make the decision and put it in their hands, they listen to everything you have to say, but the moment they are on the throne, you’ve lost it. Never again will you have a privilege of saying anything about the matter. I realize this is something similar to what God is asking us: “Here, you make your decision to follow Me,” but when you become a disciple you have no privilege of decision again. If you are going to be a real disciple, one who follows the Lord, it must be without reservation. You renounce the right to say anything more or make another decision in the matter.
Paul writes in Philippians 3:7–11, Howbeit what things were gain to me, these have I counted loss for Christ. Yea, verily, and I count all things to be loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I suffer the loss of all things, and do count them but refuse, that I may gain Christ, and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of mine own, even that which is of the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith: that I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, becoming conformed unto his death; if by any means I may attain unto the resurrection from the dead.
He said, “I haven’t laid hold of this prize yet, … but one thing I do, forgetting the things which are behind, and stretching forward to the things which are before, I press on toward the goal unto the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. Let us therefore, as many as are perfect, be thus minded …” Philippians 3:13–15. If you would be perfect, if you would be a true believer, it must be a renouncing of everything else and a following on for only one thing—that you may know Him. Everything else must be laid aside for that.
This leads me to the very heart of this message. The problems and the tests which keep recurring within the life of the believer have a divine design to them. They are designed to uncover the deep reservations in your heart. Many times you will give lip service to God and believe it with all your heart, but God knows how to bring the test of trial to you which will uncover the reservation that is still way down deep, and if that discipleship is not perfect, it will show up under the testing or pressure. You can go along praising and worshiping God, declaring your willingness and dedication, and obeying God, until that test comes to you. Then something down deep, a reservation you were unaware of, comes up to the surface and you go through the struggle again. What God is trying to do is to bring those recurring tests and trials to you until there is nothing left that will respond, until there are no reservations and you are set to serve God.
It is amazing how each test and trial goes a little deeper and another reservation, that little thing you are holding back, is brought up and laid on the altar. These reservations are the real sins against the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is constantly saying to you, as He said to Ananias and Sapphira (this is a spiritualized interpretation, but I am sure it is what God wants us to get out of it), “Have you sold out everything and given your all to the Lord?” “Yes, Lord (but we have a little cache hidden away, a reservation, trying to preserve ourselves by having a little nest egg in case this whole thing falls apart. We can’t put all our eggs in one basket and trust God, because what would happen if something would go wrong with this thing?).” That is unbelief. Peter said, “You haven’t lied to men, but to the Holy Spirit” (this was deep within them). “How can you be a disciple, in a church as dedicated as a New Testament church, with reservation, lying to the Holy Spirit and holding back?” They dropped dead.
Spiritual death comes when people know there are reservations in their lives, yet they are talking entire, perfect dedication. Our problems and our tests that have been so grievous will keep on recurring in God’s will as long as they are the only means of uncovering the deep reservation we have in serving God.
You wonder how you can be so met and blessed one day and be in the midst of a terrible test the next. That is the only way God has of finding the reservations which are still in your heart. How many times have you experienced that God begins to take you at your word on all the things you have said on Sunday, and He puts you in another test on Monday morning? It is the only way He has of uncovering a reservation you have in your heart which you would never admit except under pressure. It pops up so you can see it dealt with.
There are many illustrations in the Bible which show us how we are going to forfeit our right to a decision in a matter. When the ark of the covenant was brought into Solomon’s Temple, they drew the staves out of the loops which were built in the side, and they put the staves into the Holy Place “where they remain unto this day,” the writer said. The ark was meant to be portable so they could move God’s presence in and out of the Tabernacle. They could take the Tabernacle down, move it somewhere else, and move the ark of the covenant into it. These staves were the means by which the priests could put the ark of the covenant upon their shoulders and carry it. No man could touch the ark of the covenant, as Uzzah found out when he touched it and dropped dead. When they drew the staves permanently, they left no provision to move the ark. In other words, “We have brought the presence of God into the Holy of Holies and now we will have no way of removing Him.” It was not a temporary thing.
Let the presence of God be in your midst with the staves drawn out and throw them away. There is no provision for anything else to be on the throne of your heart but the Lord. There is no way your will can rise up to make an adverse decision, because you renounce the right; you look to God until the enmity of that carnal mind is slain and you are brought into the place where you can say, “yes” to the will of God, and you become a bondservant of the Lord Jesus
Christ. From that time on it is yours to serve.
Suppose you were a man with debts, and in order to pay those debts and free your loved ones you sold yourself into slavery: you could do that as a voluntary act, but you could not unsell yourself from slavery after it was done. For the money you earned to free your loved ones, or whatever the motive for your slavery, is now spent and you have no more right. As a slave you must do what you are told to do. In this sense we become disciples, bondservants of the Lord. We don’t have to do it, but when we do it is with the idea that never again are there any reservations in our hearts.
Reservations keep coming up in the hearts of people. Few have said, “Lord I will follow thee and renounce all I have.” So many are hanging onto ways out, so many little exits they can revert to if things don’t go well. For years my mind would think up ways of running from God. I remember former days of insecurity and fear when I pastored a church, and sitting outside of it was a house trailer and the assurance that when days were rough I could always hitch it up and take off. You have them in your life too. You are constantly facing those reservations.
Burn those bridges behind you! Sell the house trailer! Get rid of the pursuits that give you any loopholes. Forget them! Go on with God and say, “There is no way out. I am forfeiting the right to any further decision on the matter. I am His disciple. This is the place of consecration that I strive to be in by the grace of God. The three Hebrew children discovered this, and the glorious illustration is in them. When they were faced with the order to bow down and worship the image or be thrown in the fiery furnace, they didn’t know whether or not God would deliver them, but they refused to bow down to the idol regardless of the outcome. They didn’t know if they would live or die, but they refused to bow down. More people were burned in that story than expected. God occasionally delivers some of His people to show that He can, but many a man who has made his decision to walk with God has been swallowed up with persecution, trials, and tests, all for the glory of God.
You do not know how it will all come out, but you must be dedicated to walk with God whether the end brings you out with everyone thinking what a wonderful servant of God you are, or whether the end is persecution and rejection. It makes no difference. You are not serving God on the basis that He brings everything out a certain way, but because you are His disciple, and whatever He says to you, that you will do. He is Lord. Set your course and follow Him with all your heart. In this walk you cannot fulfill God’s will in yourself anyway, so you must find some way to let the leadership and guidance fall upon the Lord.
If you are in a constant state of decision, whether to go on or not, you will be trying to decide week after week whether you will go on in this walk, and it is that reservation in your heart which must be dealt with once and for all. The followers of God must be without the frustration that comes to them through reservations in their hearts. Frustration is deadly. You’ve had it yourself: the frustration which comes up because of reservations still in your heart about going all out for God and serving Him with everything within you. When those come up, believe God to deal with them. Wait before the Lord until they are really dealt with. Don’t be so quick to go from one experience to another and forget them. Learn what God is trying to say to you when He brings a test or trial. You may be only opening the door for that problem to occur and recur, bringing forth that same reservation, again and again, until you flounder hopelessly in frustration.
The peace of God reigns when a man has made up His heart to serve the Lord. With all that Paul faced, still he was a man without frustration, a man who could rejoice in prison and under opposition, because he had a single purpose: “This one thing I do,” There was no frustration left within him, no reservation. God said, “Paul, you will go to Jerusalem and be bound,” but it made no difference. He was not only willing to be bound, but to die for the Lord Jesus Christ. It didn’t matter as long as he fulfilled what God raised him up to do.
There must come that time when doing God’s will is the only important thing in your life.