I have earnestly desired to eat this Passover with you

Sometime during the Feast of Passover we need to hear again the story of the last Passover that Jesus kept with His disciples, going over it in our minds and hearts, and living it. There are some things that live in my mind and in my spirit. Some of the prophecies during this feast spoke about memories from before the foundation of the world that God had placed in the human spirit. That sounds a little far-fetched, and yet there are ways in which we know this is true. As our spirit yearns after the Lord, we know that somewhere, sometime, our spirit must have been more closely aligned with God. We yearn for that oneness with Him. We yearn to know Him again perfectly.

As we read from Luke 22:1–38, try to position yourself in a place of remembering, as though you had been there, as though you had been one of the participants living this event.

“Oh, God, etch these things in our minds and our hearts. Make them real to us, for has the world ever seen so great a day as the day when Your love was poured out for us, when You moved in such compassion to die for us.”

Now the Feast of Unleavened Bread, which is called the Passover, was approaching. And the chief priests and the scribes were seeking how they might put Him to death; for they were afraid of the people. And Satan entered into Judas who was called Iscariot, belonging to the number of the twelve. And he went away and discussed with the chief priest and officers how he might betray Him to them. And they were delighted, and agreed to give him money. And he consented, and began seeking a good opportunity to betray Him to them apart from the multitude.

Then came the day of Unleavened Bread on which the Passover lamb had to be sacrificed. He sent Peter and John, saying, “Go and prepare the Passover for us, that we may eat it. “And they said to Him, “Where do You want us to prepare it?” Do not get the idea that these events were not clear in the mind of the Lord. None of this happened to Him unexpectedly; He foresaw and knew what was going to happen.

And He said to them, “Behold, when you have entered the city, a man will meet you carrying a pitcher of water; follow him into the house that he enters.” How could He tune in to know this man with a pitcher of water, and where he would go? The knowledge of the Lord was perfect. He understood and knew so many things.

“And you shall say to the owner of the house, ‘The Teacher says to you, “Where is the guest room in which I may eat the Passover with My disciples?” ’ And he will show you a large, furnished, upper room; prepare it there.” And they departed and found everything just as He had told them; and they prepared the Passover. And when the hour had come He reclined at table, and the apostles with Him.

Here in this large upper room begins one of the most touching scenes of all. Instead of sitting upright as we do, they reclined at a low table, leaning partially on the one next to them. As they were all reclining at the table, Jesus spoke to them: “I have earnestly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer; for I say to you, I shall never again eat it until it is fulfilled in the kingdom of God.” And having taken a cup, when He had given thanks, He said, “Take this and share it among yourselves.”

They all knew that this was a solemn moment, but they did not know the full significance of it. They did not know what was happening, but they were aware that something very different was about to happen, as they saw the intensity of His desire for the Passover. Even before He suffered, He knew what was going to happen. Every minute was already etched in His mind. He knew every agony He would endure. And yet at that one moment He had to bring something to them. It was like a prophecy. His blood was not yet spilled, His body not yet beaten and bruised for us; nevertheless, it was as real to Him as if He had experienced it already.

He took the cup and said, “For I say to you, I will not drink of the fruit of the vine from now on until the kingdom of God comes.” And having taken some bread, when He had given thanks, He broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This My body which is given for you; do this in remembrance of Me.”

As they looked upon Him, there were as yet no marks of the whip; there were no wounds. But He set it down in advance, “This you do in remembrance of Me.” And in the same way He took the cup after they had eaten, saying, “This cup which is poured out for you is the new covenant in My blood.”

A sense of awe was upon them. He was speaking of it as though it had already happened, as though His blood had already been spilled, as though He had positioned Himself beyond the cross, beyond the tomb, into the time of the resurrection. It was as though He were looking back on the whole event, and yet, in those miserable hours that were just ahead, it was all to take place.

From lip to lip went the cup. Who can understand the significance of things like that? We read the Word, but we tend to forget that there was that special day and night in which it was actually lived. There was that young disciple who walked through the streets and saw the man carrying the pitcher. All of his life he remembered going to the room and making every preparation. Then later in that room, with a few little flickering oil lamps casting their eerie shadows on the wall, he heard that One whom he loved so much saying, “This is My blood. This is My body.”

“But behold, the hand of the one betraying Me is with Me on the table. For indeed, the Son of Man is going as it has been determined; but woe to that man through whom He is betrayed!” And they began to discuss among themselves which one of them it might be who was going to do this thing. And there arose also a dispute among them as to which one of them was regarded to be greatest. You see, they still did not understand.

And He said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those who have authority over them are called ‘Benefactors.’ But not so with you, but let him who is the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as the servant. For who is greater, the one who reclines at table, or the one who serves? Is it not the one who reclines at table? But I am among you as the one who serves.

John, chapters 13 through 17, all pertain to the events of this night. The thirteenth chapter tells of Jesus washing the disciples’ feet. And there He speaks to them about going away, for if He does not go away, He cannot send the Comforter. He talks to them about things they had never grasped before: that He was the vine and they were the branches, and they were going to be an extension of Him in the earth. Though He would go away, the life would continue to flow unto them. God would purge them, but they would bring forth much fruit, because they were to abide in Him and live in Him. With deep compassion, He prayed that they all might be one—these who were disputing over who was going to be the greatest.

“And you are those who have stood by Me in My trials; and just as My Father has granted Me a kingdom, I grant you that you may eat and drink at My table in My kingdom, and you will sit on thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel.” This was the beginning of the message of the Kingdom. It kept coming through, something very real: “I am giving you a Kingdom; I am sending you out to preach the Word.”

Then He turned to Peter, “Simon, Simon, behold, Satan has demanded permission to sift you like wheat; but I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail; and you, when once you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.” I sometimes see the ominous signs concerning a brother or a sister, knowing that all I can do is pray for them. There is no way to hold back the dealings of God. Something almost inevitable will take place: Satan is going to sift them like wheat. Jesus said, “I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail.” He was telling them, “You will fail, you will stumble, you will have your moments in which you seem to be completely devastated. Nevertheless, I do not want your faith to fail. When you have turned again, then you start strengthening your brother’s hand too, for there was strength for you when you needed it; there was compassion and understanding and mercy when you stumbled.”

Oh, the desolation of that hour. Peter went through it. He denied his Lord, and then he went out and wept bitterly. While Christ was being led away to the cross, Peter was sobbing, as he leaned against a wall in a dark little street. It is a terrible thing to deny the Lord. It is an awful thing to stumble and fall when God has given you so much, and you have seen so much. It is a desolate feeling. Judas could not bear it; he could not live with it, and he hanged himself. Peter wept bitterly, completely desolate. Nevertheless, God met him.

Peter said, “Lord, with You I am ready to go both to prison and to death!” And He said, “I tell you, Peter, the cock will not crow today until you have denied three times that you know Me.” There are times when it seems that you have everything; you do not need anything. Like Peter, you do not need anyone to give you anything or do anything for you. You feel complete in the Lord. There are other moments in which you feel so desolate. You need a friend, someone to stand by. The Lord sensed the desolation over all of His disciples. This was not the festive Paschal Feast, for there was a spirit of heaviness upon them—such a heaviness that in a few hours at Gethsemane, they would be unable to hold their eyes open, falling into some stupor of sleep while the Lord was sweating blood in agony. He knew what they needed.

And He said to them, “When I sent you out without purse and bag and sandals, you did not lack anything, did you?” And they said, “No, nothing.” And He said to them, “But now, let him who has a purse take it along, likewise also a bag, and let him who has no sword sell his robe and buy one. For I tell you, that this which is written must be fulfilled in Me, ‘And He was classed among criminals’; for that which refers to Me has its fulfillment. “And they said, “Lord, look, here are two swords.” And He said to them. “It is enough.”

He is not telling them, “Don’t trust God”; He is trying to help them at that moment to reach in and take hold of that which will bolster them up, because this is going to become a desolation such as the world had never seen before. They had come to have such faith that He was the Son of God, and now they will see Him classed among criminals. They are about to learn what the Paschal Feast meant. They will soon learn the significance of the little lamb they had killed and roasted that very day. Now they are going to see the true picture—the true Lamb of God, which takes away the sin of the world. They are going to see Him stand silent among His accusers. They will see the viciousness with which every accusation is made, the callousness with which He is mocked and beaten and spit upon. His visage is marred (as the prophet had prophesied) above every man, until the beautiful face is now distorted, bruised and beaten unbelievably. They will stand at a distance and watch as He stands alone before the governor, answering him not a word. They will see Him carry a cross, dragging it through the streets. They will see how He is nailed to that cross. They are going to watch how He dies. They will watch until the Father makes the sun dark, and they must strain in the darkness to see the One they love hanging there bleeding. Memories will well up in their minds of all the things He did, the way they loved Him. Their hearts will seem to burst within them because they cannot believe that their hope is dying, that the One they love so much is being crucified.

Paul writes, “Let us keep the feast with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth, for Christ our Passover has been sacrificed” (I Corinthians 5:7, 8). Every Jew knew what that meant: a lamb had taken the place of the guilty.

He carried the sins right to the cross. Years passed, and the disciples still talked about how He died and rose again. It was a thing of wonder. But it is no less a thing of wonder to us today. He touches our lives and becomes very real to us. “For though we have known Him after the flesh, yet know we Him so no longer” (II Corinthians 5:16). Although it is no longer the physical man we can handle and touch, He is just as real to us today. I would like to have this engraved on your memory, that every time you lift the cup to your lips, you do it in remembrance of Him, of how much He loved you, of the fact that He ever lives to make intercession for you.

This is one of the truest Scriptures: He ever lives to make intercession for us (Hebrews 7:25). He could not do anything else. He loves us too much not to be that concerned.

We sometimes fail, but it is important for us to know how much He loves us. There are moments in which you feel estranged, as though you have no anchor. That is why He said, “Take a purse along. Sell your cloak and buy a sword, because I will not be with you, and you will not have anyone to lean on. You must have something to make you feel secure in that moment.”

We have been in that position too, haven’t we? Moments when we need to feel that He is holding on to us and because He loves us, He is not going to let us go. He loves us very much—very, very much. Ask the Lord to reveal to you His love for you, the love that will not let you go. In many things we fail, but has He not been faithful to hold us steady? How can we reject such love? How can we visualize Him dying on the cross, bearing our sins; and not open our hearts to Him, not give our lives to Him? How can we frustrate this tremendous thing that God wants to give us of eternal life, of His own nature, of His very own self, pouring into us His own love? All He is asking is that we let Him carry our sins. Above everything else He wants to be your Lord and your Savior.

Many of the young folks who have come wandering in here need to face what it means to make that decision in their mind and heart, and say, “Yes, I know God loves me. He must love me very much. He must be concerned about me more than I realize, and I am going to open the door to Him right now. I am going to let Him sit on the throne in my heart. I want to serve Him. I want His love. I want to be forgiven and cleansed. I want to be one of His believers, His followers. I want to do that above anything else in the world. I don’t want to be a smart aleck who thinks he knows all the answers. I just want to be one of God’s humble little sheep and follow the Shepherd.”

I want the Lord Jesus to be so real to your heart that you will never draw back. I want you to know Him. I think our trouble comes because the Lord is not real to us. We were not there when the waves were beating against the ship and He said, “Peace, be still.” Every one of the disciples was awestruck and dumbfounded. We were not there in that solitary wilderness when He broke the bread and fishes and fed the hungry people who were ready to faint. We did not see Him heal the lepers and heal the blind. We were not there when He stopped the funeral procession with the widow weeping over her only son who had died. We did not see Jesus raise him from the dead and heal him. These are not just stories two thousand years old. They were real experiences, but how can they come through and live for us? He loves us. He is just the same—yesterday, today, and forever. His great heart of love is still reaching through to us.

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