Our cross is the cost

God has set before us a choice. It has been so from the beginning, whether it was Joshua thundering to all of the congregations of Israel, “Choose you this day whom you will serve” (Joshua 24:15), or Moses saying, “Behold, I set before you this day a blessing and a curse. Will you choose life or will you choose death? What kind of a choice will you make?” (Deuteronomy 30:19.)

In the final analysis, we decide what we will do about discipleship in the Kingdom. Whenever we follow up on that choice, we can enter into a period of danger and jeopardy. This happened to Ananias and Sapphira (Acts 5:1–12). They chose a discipleship which they were not dedicated to follow. They could have reversed their decision. The money was in their hands; they could have done with it what they wanted. They could have laid it at the apostles’ feet, as God wanted, and as they themselves had declared they wanted. But they held back part of the money; they did not follow through with their choice. That is a dangerous position to be in.

Have you ever had times when you were afraid that you were going to die, and then other times when you were afraid that you were not? Those who have borne the heat of spiritual battles know what I am talking about. The book of Galatians speaks about dying. One of its themes is that of the crucified life. The following three passages speak about this.

Galatians 5:24: Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

Galatians 6:14–15: But may it never be that I should boast, except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. In other words, “If there is anything that I will rejoice in, it is the instrument of death whereby the last restraint is loosed from me so that I can really serve God.” For neither is circumcision anything, nor uncircumcision, but a new creation.

Galatians 2:20–21: “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me, and delivered Himself up for me. I do not nullify the grace of God; for if righteousness comes through the Law, then Christ died needlessly.”

How do you choose to live—after the flesh, or after the Spirit? It is important that you make this choice. Frankly, I think that most people in this walk with God today need to be put out of their misery; they need to choose death for their flesh, because they are allowing things to remain alive that must die. If you wish, you can make that choice and have a “funeral.” Frankly, you could make no better choice. This death brings the end of much turmoil, the end of many problems. Every time a true disciple dies to the flesh, we should sing, “Blessed are those who die in the Lord” (Revelation 14:13).

The process of making this choice may continue with us for some time, but somewhere along the line, the final decision is made. The die is cast, and from that time on, we follow a certain path. However, most of us are still in a stage where the choice is being made. Don’t you wish it were possible to make the choice irrevocably and have it over with? How we hate the questions that linger on!

This is true in many areas—one example is tooth repair. When a man needs extensive dental work, he usually has to make many visits to the dentist. On each of these days, he may feel as though he is dying a little. He wishes that he could have all the work done at one time. He may even consider having all his teeth pulled and replaced with dentures, rather than having them patched up at seemingly endless expense. When he is finally finished, he is so glad to have the work completed that he hardly minds paying the bill. But then, just as he is ready to walk out the door, how discouraging it is to be handed an appointment card and to hear the receptionist say, “See you in six months!” Here he thought he was through with the ordeal, and now he knows he will have to go through some more of it. Is that the way it is with you spiritually? You finally battle through to one victory, and you think, “I’ve got it made now!” Then the Lord hands you an “appointment card” and says, “I’ll see you in six months, buddy.” You know that another problem will come up that He needs to work on. What a blessing it would be if only we could get rid of the flesh all at one time, if we could let everything go at once.

You have a choice to make—whether to live after the flesh or to live after the Spirit. If you choose to live after the Spirit, you will experience a continual process of putting to death the various levels of the flesh nature, so that you might come into what God has for you in the life of the Spirit. This is not easy to go through. You may tell the Lord, “I will do anything You want me to do,” and then when disappointments come, you realize that you are not as willing as you thought you were. However, if you are even only willing to be willing, He counts it in your behalf.

Paul spoke of living the life of the cross, of being crucified with Christ, when he said, “Nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me” (Galatians 2:20). We must die a lot before we can live a little. We will not really live as disciples until we are dead to the flesh. We must be crucified before we live.

If this spiritual death were merely an end of bodily existence, many Christians would choose it. When the early martyrs refused to renounce Jesus Christ, they were thrown to the lions. In retrospect, I would rather face lions for five minutes than face a lifetime of the kind of spiritual warfare that I have experienced. It would be easier to get the dying over with all at once.

Paul was speaking about something else when he wrote that we are to be living sacrifices. I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God … Romans 12:1. This is not speaking about dying physically. This is speaking about a cross experience which deals with a certain level of self-interest in your life, to enable you to live a crucified life. You are to have an existence that really is alive to God, and is in the perfect will of God.

When Paul wrote his letter to the Philippians, he was in prison, not knowing what would happen to him. He said, For I know that this shall turn out for my deliverance through your prayers and the provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, according to my earnest expectation and hope, that I shall not be put to shame in anything, but that with all boldness, Christ shall even now, as always, be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. Paul’s physical existence was not the question. For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain. But if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which to choose. Philippians 1:19–22. Notice that Paul himself did not know which to choose.

Paul had already made the choice that he would not live after the flesh, but after the Spirit. That brought him to another choice. What in this earthly existence was there to live for? If he could live for Christ and His Body, fine; otherwise, he would be better off to be with the Lord. Notice how he made his choice. But I am hard-pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better; yet to remain on in the flesh is more necessary for your sake. And convinced of this, I know that I shall remain and continue with you all for your progress and joy in the faith, so that your proud confidence in me may abound in Christ Jesus through my coming to you again. Verses 23–26.

He was telling the Philippians, “I am crucified with Christ. I am living a life in the flesh, but I am dead to everything except one thing: it is not I, but it is Christ living in me. I am pressed from two directions; I do not know which would be better. I am in this prison prepared for someone to make me a martyr unto the Lord, and I would prefer that, because it is much better for me to depart and be with the Lord. But I know that for your sake, it is better that I remain here, to be an apostle to you and to help you. So now I know what will happen. I will stick around, so that I can minister to you and help you.”

Paul actually meant what he was saying to these people, because the work of the cross that had been completed in him had caused him to die out to himself. He did not go to a cross to die for himself; he died to self, not for himself. Paul died for others. He died for the Lord. The world was dead to him, and he was dead to the world. He had been crucified with Christ. The cross was a very real experience to him, but not so that he could stand up and say, “Finally the world has ended as far as I am concerned; so now I can live in a state of immunity from problems.” No, he meant that he would live in a state of total involvement.

Paul told the Philippians, in effect, “I would like to leave this world, but I have decided to stay for your benefit. It would be far easier for me to withdraw, but for your sakes I will remain.” When you see how the crucifixion of Christ had been worked within Paul, you cannot help but become aware that the cross experience includes a necessary involvement with the Body of Christ. Christ did not die on the cross for Himself; He died for you. You do not go through the work of the cross for yourself; you go through it as He did—for the Body.

For what do we die? Certainly not to receive immunity from living out our lives in the Kingdom. We die so that the flesh no longer is the barrier, the hindrance, the holding back in our lives, which prevents us from serving God and serving His people with all of our hearts.

The Lord taught Peter this. Peter told Him, “I love You. You know I love You. I am sorry for what I said, what I did. I denied You; forgive me. I love You. Lord, forgive me.”

“Do you love Me?”

“Oh yes, Lord, I love You so much.”

“Feed My sheep. Feed My lambs. Get involved” (John 21:15–17).

People are praying that the apostolic ministry be liberated. They want freedom for the apostles and prophets! That is wonderful, but for what purpose? From what should they be set free? While they may like the idea of being free from some things, they do not necessarily welcome the next step that God will require of them.

When a man is crucified with Christ, what will happen to him? What will it lead to? He may say, “When God blesses me I’ll do many things for the Lord. Maybe I will make millions of dollars and start many churches. Oh, I’ll be so faithful to the Lord, and because I have been faithful in ruling over a few things, He will make me ruler over many things.” Who needs it? Who needs to be ruler over many things? Why would anyone want to rule over ten cities, instead of one? Most of us feel, at times, that we are already failing with only our “one city”!

Let me give you a practical exercise to illustrate the principles in this message. Take a blank sheet of paper. Sign your name at the bottom of the page, and at the top of the page print in bold letters, “YES,” and next to it, place a dash. Now visualize mailing this paper to God and asking Him to fill in the terms of the contract. What are you saying to Him? “I make a choice. I choose to be crucified. I choose to surrender my life to You, unconditionally and absolutely, even though I do not know what You will require of me tomorrow.” Pray that the Lord will give you an increasing revelation of this principle of the cross. It is your very life; it is your very death.

Someone may respond, “It’s not so difficult to be crucified. I can go about it immediately. I’ll get a hammer, some nails, and a couple of four-by-fours.” Try it. Nail one hand on there, and then try to get the other hand nailed. It will not work! Crucifixion is not something that you can actually do yourself. When you submit to the work of the cross in your life, how much easier it would be if you could just crucify yourself, if there were some “do-it-yourself die-quick” kit that the Lord could issue. The trouble is, He brings your dearest friends to crucify you. Sometimes He even allows the devil to have a part in it. Crucifixion would be much easier if it were not for dying. It could be so noble and religious, leading to membership in “The Exalted Grand Order of the Cross”! But it cannot work that way. It is going to hurt!

You may be determining in your heart that you will walk with God, but you can hurt yourself while you are trying. You may resolve that you will be what God wants you to be, but how will you go about it? Paul found the answer: For to me, to live is Christ. Philippians 1:21a. For every part of your flesh nature that dies, more of Christ is made alive within you. The more you decrease, the more He increases (John 3:30); that is the way crucifixion works.

When you confront the crucified life, and you say you want to die, you will go through a number of things. You may die (in the spiritual sense) like Christ on the cross—between two thieves, without any little placard, “This one is innocent,” or a spotlight on you, and with your whole world turning dark. No one defends you, saying, “This man is innocent, but the two thieves on either side are guilty.” There is no one to comfort you—no one except the accusers, standing by, mocking. This is one way to die, to say as Christ did finally, “It is finished” (John 19:30), and to willingly relinquish the life of the flesh.

Sometimes a man responds to the cross experience by self-pity. He pretends to be brave, as he looks around for pity and sympathy. He says, “I want to be brave with self-pity. Lord, I make the choice to be a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable unto Thee. Therefore I would rather be dead than to go on living.” This man is really saying, “I want to get out of this. I want to withdraw. I do not want to pay the price to become anything more in God than I am now.”

When people get caught in self-pity, they seem to go on and on in it. Husbands and wives often do that. They withdraw in self-pity, refusing to humble themselves and say, “I’m sorry.” Then they lash out at each other. They may almost destroy one another, but for no good reason. Self-pity does not accomplish a thing. A man never accomplishes anything by going the self-pity route. He is truly crucified only when he has faced the cross, when he has chosen to die to all that keeps him from living wholly to God.

If you seek the crucified life, then forget the self-pity and sympathy and simply say to the Lord, “Bless me to bring to an end this impasse in my very flesh that keeps me from doing the will of God more perfectly. As Your disciple, Lord Jesus, I want to become a living sacrifice, and I present my body unto You.” You do not present your body so that all its instincts and drives will suddenly be sharpened. You are hoping that in God, that which is inordinate will be removed. You have faith that God will cause you to abound in the Spirit and put to death the flesh. You are believing that this work of the cross can be completed in your life.

The only person who is truly free is the one who has had this crucifixion worked deeply in his life. When we pray, “Lord, loose the apostles and prophets,” we see that their burdens grow ever deeper and heavier. The Lord is working the cross in them, because that is the route to their release! We can be dedicated to the end to be free, but are we dedicated to the means to that end? If you want to be free, the work of the cross will make you free. Submit to it!

Are we still reaching toward resurrection life, toward the fulfillment of Romans 8? Certainly! But first, we must enter in to become partakers with His sufferings and His death completely. This is what God is doing in our lives. This is both the sword of the Spirit that pierces us, and the life that resurrects us—all in one.

Philippians 3:18–19 warns us about those who are enemies of the cross of Christ, whose god is their belly, whose glory is in their shame, who mind earthly things, whose end is destruction. In describing them, Paul said, For many walk, of whom I often told you … Verse 18. These people were actually walking as Christians, but they did not want the cross experience. It is better that we face the destruction of the flesh by the cross, than face the destruction of all that we are because we are an enemy of that cross.

Many of us have been through enough experiences to understand that the cross is never easy. We may realize that we do not really want the cross as much as we want to want it. If we were totally submissive to the completed work of the cross, our fleshly desires would be dead. The very fact that the flesh is still reluctant reveals that there is yet a need for its crucifixion. So we submit to the desire to be submissive to the work of the cross in our lives. May God bless us that we have the will to die, and also that we have the will to present ourselves as living sacrifices.

Lord Jesus, we want You to be exalted. We do not know how to get our flesh out of the way, Lord, except that we submit to the work of the cross. We may not be willing, but we are willing to be willing. We may find the flesh warring against the spirit, but we will be freed from that flesh. We believe that we will be free. We submit ourselves to walk with You with all of our hearts in this day of grace.

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