Preoccupied with Jesus

The Lord bless you, and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you, and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance on you, and give you peace – numbers 6:24 to 26.

What a wonderful, poetic expression: the Lord make his face shine upon you. That’s the best description of a smile I’ve ever encountered. Everything about God sparkles to me. His glory glistens with happiness. He shimmers with the light. His eyes twinkle with goodness. He bubbles in enthusiasm for us.

He has this wonderful beam in his face when he looks at us. A glint in his eye, a glow in his smile. His voice is brilliant, dazzling in its beauty. It captivates us. The father has this astonishing gaiety and vitality. Full of life and spirit. He is a radiant. His face shines upon us!

There is a luster in the way he communicates with us; a brilliant, glorious, luminescence that captures our affection and makes us feel what he feels. His heartbeat is enchanting. There have been many times when I have been so overwhelmed by his presence, that I cannot decide what to do in my pleasure. Do I cry with happiness? Do I sing aloud for joy? Do I sit, silent and astonished? Do I do all 3? Do I dance wildly, shout out praises, or just look at him in awe? That’s why this song, I can only imagine – by mercy m me is so powerful to me. They are singing my experience of God.

My heart bubbles over with the memory of his abundant goodness – Psalm 145:7. He is righteous in all his ways and kind in all his deeds – Psalm 145:17. Being occupied with him is delightful. He chooses very carefully the chief Revelation he wants you to possess about his nature. All subsequent revelation will flow out of this one truth that will underpin every experience of God you will ever have in this life. This truth is a major part of your inheritance word. It will cause you to receive in every area of your life, no matter what is against you. For me, it is the kindness of God. He is the kindest person I’ve ever known. His loving-kindness has overwhelmed my heart and my life now for many, many years. It has changed my character. It has upgraded my personality. It has radically altered my behavior.

Loving-kindness is my own personal highway into the presence of the Lord. It dominates my thinking; overrules my perception; and maintains my heart in a place of joy, warmth, and rest. The Lord first began talking to me about loving-kindness becoming my sure, certain way into his presence. Since then the Holy Spirit has consistently and relentlessly pursued me with this revelation. At the time of writing, more than 6700 days have passed since I began this journey into kindness.

I cannot remember a day in that timeframe when he did not say or do something out of his loving-kindness to me. During that time I went through some horrendous experiences of life where only the Revelation and experience of loving-kindness kept Me safe and in my right mind. At times the negativity surrounding me was so pronounced it could have been devastating, I found out who were my real friends. Relationships around me were pruned to a minimum by an enemy committed to my destruction. It was a time of desolation where the spoiler ransacked my life, and I lost everything that had been built.

Relentlessly, day after day, the Holy Spirit showed up with immense comfort, deep joy, and rest – pure, sweet rest. I felt my anger leave. Resentment and bitterness were reduced so radically, I misplaced them for months at a time. When they returned on days, I just smiled and refused. I kept my own counsel – and still do – about those days. The Lord has conquered my thoughts with much better ones, right out of his heart. Every day he taught me how to see people and events his way. He touched my heart constantly. In the early days I was a poor student, but his endless patience and loving-kindness wore down my flesh until it died – overwhelmed by grace.

He showed me myself and then proceeded to love me so outrageously that it broke my heart. I was worse than anyone I knew; and he touched me, kissed me, and loved on me until I capitulated. Whatever God is, he is relentless. He never quits. There would be times when I would get angry with his goodness towards me. I wanted a pity party. I wanted to vindicate myself to my detractors. I wanted to be right! I wanted to show them a thing or two. I did not want to be just good to them.

Slowly, I realized that if God granted that desire, all I could reveal would be my flesh. I would be confirming their worst suspicions. It’s a hard place to be in – when you have not done what you are accused of; but if you get angry and speak out of that, – you reveal in defense what they are attacking you for in the first place!

I began to learn about being preoccupied with Jesus. I learned to understand that if I defended myself, what self was I defending? I became silent towards people and vocal towards God. I discovered a wonderful thing – how to die quietly! The enemy wants hatred to have a voice. Bitterness and resentment, when verbalized, become more entrenched.

In the loving-kindness of God, I let it all go. There is a lot to be said in favor of dumbness – Isaiah 53:7. The enemy leaves much more quickly when we refuse to rage. Silence oppresses him. Rest infuriates him. The cross debilitates him. The Holy Spirit was marvelous to me all that time – relentless in his patience, unending in his enthusiasm for me. Gradually my head broke above the surface. I moved on, found new people, began to develop new friends. I learned the same lessons again but at a deeper level. I began to see that some friendships were offered, but the price was too high. It was love with a hook – people giving, but wanting in return things I could not give.

The difference in me was profound. I had the freedom to see that I could play a small part in someone’s life but not be responsible for the whole – just the piece. I stopped trying to fix things and just lovingly gave my one or two pieces. When the Spirit was ready, he moved me along. I have great, new friends. I’m learning the piece that I get to be for them. The whole is God’s responsibility.

I love putting relentless and kindness together in the same sentence. God has been relentlessly kind to me. Now I know no other way to live, think, or speak. I’m not perfect in it, but I am much more mature than I was.

The initial revelation that the father gives us becomes our main point of growth, development, and adjustment. My advice to people that I am disciplining is for them to choose an aspect of God’s nature and character that they are fully attracted to and begin to develop, with the Holy Spirit, a lifestyle commensurate with that truth. Our thinking, speaking, seeing, and behaving all arrange themselves behind and within that truth.

Each day then becomes a lesson in alignment – a choosing to cultivate that lifestyle. The Holy Spirit is astonishing brilliant at this type of development. He excels as teacher and facilitator. He has not come to teach us all truth, but to lead us into all truth. He teaches, then creates the scenario in which we can experience the truth by putting it into practice.

This is how we become preoccupied with Jesus – through ongoing development. It is vital that this is not a chore, but a delight.

All Revelation of God must result in us seeing his glory and being dazzled by his radiance. Our relationship with God is always extrovert. No matter our personality type, we are called at some point to shout, sing aloud, rejoice, dance, and declare enthusiastically who he is for us. Worship has a loud voice. I’m an introvert. I love my personality. I like the way the father made me. I’m a deep thinker, and I adore wisdom. Joy has no introversion. It is exuberant, ardent, Ernest, excited, fervent, hearty, lively, wholehearted, and zealous. It is passionate, vehement, and fanatical in its appreciation, value, and impression of God.

So if you’re like me, you’ll have to get over yourself. In may help you to know that extroverts also struggle with their personality. Patience, rest, and wisdom are not easily won by extroverts. The point is, we must develop our relationship with God across the extremes of personality. Initially it’s tough; eventually, it’s fun. The father did not make me to be an introvert only. He made me to be an introvert with joyful, passionate, exuberant intimacy.

All that brilliance of God rubs off on us, and we move into a more rounded expression of ourselves. Joy in the Lord has changed me. I have become more outgoing – more of a storyteller and have developed a couple of standup comedy routines. (No, I do not take bookings – thanks for asking!) Being preoccupied with Jesus brings a deep enjoyment of life in all its shades. We live each day under God smile. We do to things that bring him pleasure. We bask in the warmth of his affection. We cooperate with a generous Holy Spirit who reveals Jesus to us. We fall more under the spell of this radical Savior who fills us with himself. We learn his pleasures and develop them to please him. Every circumstance is his opportunity to shine over us and to us. In our preoccupation, we become God conscious. Pleasure, delight, warmth, and happiness become conspicuous. The father is jubilant about Jesus and therefore overjoyed with us in our learning and becoming.

The Holy Spirit is so immensely cheerful and thrilled about revealing Jesus to us. Our fellowship is wrapped in gladness and enjoyment. This is the good news, and we are living it and loving it!

Assignment – ask the Holy Spirit to give you one aspect of God’s nature that he most wants to make your biggest spiritual experience. It could be the self-revelation of God in exodus 34:6 – 7; one of the fruits of the spirit in Galatians 5; mercy, delight, her Majesty. Learn to see, think, and experience everything in life by this attribute – through this aspect of God’s nature. You must be faithful to God’s nature above all things.

Commission – using this aspect of God’s nature, develop a worship theme for your own life. write crafted Psalms of Thanksgiving, rejoicing, and praise around God’s revelation of himself. Let the Holy Spirit be relentless to you. Live in his truth deliberately, consciously – until it lives in you radically.

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