We are either walking in the spirit or walking in the flesh.
The flesh is that union of soul and body that acts independently of the Lord. Many Cristians walk in the flesh, without realizing it. Because not everything the flesh does is considered bad. I am not talking about the works or lusts of the flesh, but the human nature.
When we are born again, we become a divine human. So, we can either walk in our human nature (soul), or we can partake of the divine nature (our spirit drawing the life of God) and then walk in that.
To better understand what it means to walk in the flesh, I call it walking according to your soul. It is your own natural abilities. Our soul is our self-conscious. It is the human level; many Christians serve God on this level. https://glorytogodministries.site/blog/getting-off-the-soul-level/
To walk in the spirit, our soul and body need to be in subjection to our spirit. Our spirit is the part of us that is God-conscious. When our spirit is communing with God, we become aware of His presence.
One of the fruits of the spirit is self-control. When we become aware that we are walking according to the soul (just being human), we have to step back into our spirit. Our soul is in the front of our consciousness, and we are not aware of our spirit, so we step back into our spirit, where we become aware of it, it is now in the front of our conscious now, as we are looking unto the Lord.
“Self-Control steps back into that secret place of the spirit, instead of reacting to negative circumstances.”
Ask God where in your circumstances that He wants you to take a step back into the secret place with Him. Notice how that feels. Then ask God who He wants to become to you in this situation, and what He wants to do for you and through you.
If you do not understand, what I am talking about, please ask me questions. Asking questions is a sign that you are growing spiritually.