There is quite a changing scene in marriage today. How does it differ from marriage in past generations and from what the Scripture portrays as the role of the woman in marriage in the generation before us and in the years to come? In these days, the world’s spotlight is on open marriages and the Women’s Liberation Movement’s disgust with the suppression of women. However, what has God set before His people? Marriages should be brought forth according to the principles that are given in the Word for the coming Kingdom of God. The role that women will have in the Kingdom is not at all the role they had in the Old Testament, in the New Testament, or even down through the centuries of Christianity. Today there is a growing awareness of changes in the earth that point to the new way of life to come in the Kingdom.
The ideas of the Kingdom that are so revolutionary must become a very deep, integral part of our thinking, our feelings, and our emotions. For instance, the statement in Galatians 3:26–29 is intriguing: For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither mate nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise. This passage is very important to us today. It had significance to Paul when he wrote it; and yet it indicates that there were limitations and restrictions upon the women then which were ultimately not meant to be left upon them.
Although the world as a whole is not getting any better, the living words of Christ have had a positive force upon it. For example, the Apostle Paul did not condemn slavery in his Epistles. He wrote that those who were slaves should be obedient to their masters; then he told the masters that they, too, were the Lord’s slaves, and they should be obedient (Ephesians 6:5–9). He did not bring words that would change conditions, but he brought a spirit that would change conditions. Many conditions have changed, so that now his words seem to have deeper meaning. The first rays of sunlight have given way to the blazing sun of truth which has mounted high in our heavens and has warmed our spirits. That has happened in every Christian country. They may not be very much Christian, yet for the sake of the salt of the earth, for the sake of the remnant that is hidden among them, God has blessed.
Today, women are no longer bought and sold for a certain number of goats or cows, as they were in times past. They are no longer treated like chattel property before the eyes of the law. They are respected, unless they deliberately destroy their own image and place. Slavery, too, has largely disappeared from the face of the earth. This happened in the wake of the Word that has been preached. This is not to defend traditional Christianity today as having the answers. It is to emphasize the fact that, as the Lord said, the Kingdom of heaven is like three measures of meal in which the leaven was hidden until the whole of the meal was leavened (Matthew 13:33). It is a force that works to bring down the tyrant, to bring down bondage, and to destroy the enslavement of people’s minds and spirits. The Son of Man came to set us free and to make us free indeed (John 8:36).
The Scripture says that there is neither Jew nor Greek, and yet the human idea is that a Greek is always a Greek, and a Jew is always a Jew. Even when a Jew becomes a Christian, he tends to think of himself as being a Jewish Christian. He may continue to hold distinctions in his thinking. God is bringing the obliteration of those distinctions. Paul said that in Christ we are all Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise. This does not seem as if it could be true in a literal, physical sense; yet when the Holy Spirit makes it real to you, then in a literal, physical sense, you are Abraham’s heir. The New Testament opens with John the Baptist preaching to the Jews, “Think not to say that you have Abraham as your father, because God is able of these stones to raise up children to Abraham” (Matthew 3:9); He could raise up seed out of stones. God can do anything! He creates relationships by His Word. Though they do not seem to exist in the natural realm, in time they become very real in the natural realm. The reality comes first in the spirit, and then that reality invades every other realm. Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear. Hebrews 11:3. By using nothing but His Word, God can create reality with it.
How does all of this apply to the changing role of women? What has the phrase “neither male nor female” meant in the past, and what does it mean today? As we delve into this subject, we find revelation that belongs to the Kingdom of God. The past view of a woman was that she was to be a wife and a mother, and that her role in life was definitely to be secondary. The first three chapters of Genesis tend to present that idea as a part of the curse, and almost everyone with a Fundamentalist viewpoint believes that women are still under the curse. They still see them as second-rate human beings. But they are not. A woman is free in Christ just as a man is free in Christ. However, the present attitude of most Christians is one of confusion, because Christianity is at a transition of ages.
Things to come are often manifested falsely on many lower planes before they are manifested in the true plane of spirit. For example, in the Kingdom of God there will be an unselfishness which is illustrated in the book of Acts. The early Christians had all things in common; they shared and ministered to one another in love, and knew each other in Christ. The day will come again when it will be as it was in the early Church, when they sold their possessions and shared together, when they had no selfishness or egotism (Acts 2:44–45). Now, however, there is confusion over this matter. Communism is the force that is trying to destroy capitalism, and yet the Christian countries are capitalistic. In theory, Communism is closer to what is going to come in the Kingdom than is pure capitalism. Yet Communism today is the Ishmael manifestation that has come, enslaving and destroying millions of people. Ishmael was the first son born to Abraham, but he was a bastard; he was not the true son of promise. Isaac, the son of promise, came later. Before a true manifestation comes, Satan brings his Ishmael brand of it; then everyone becomes discouraged and wants to run away from the true manifestation. Communism presents an idealism that condemns the capitalists and the exploiting of the poor. But today, wherever that doctrine is taught, Communists are binding the souls of men; they are torturing and destroying those who name the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Communism is not at all like the unselfishness described in the book of Acts. One day we will see the return of a true oneness and unselfishness.
Confusion has also arisen over the role of women. Because women were enslaved in many respects, the Women’s Liberation Movement now insists on equal rights with men. In theory this may be right, but it may turn out to be an Ishmael movement that does much to destroy the women themselves and the men with whom they want to be equal. Although the Women’s Liberation Movement may not accomplish much good, God will bring a change that will bring forth the true role of women.
The fact that millions of dollars worth of counterfeit money are circulating does not alter the fact that real money is also being circulated. Similarly, all kinds of expressions are coming forth today with a satanic cunning; but they are counterfeits, imitations, Ishmael manifestations. But the true role of women is also coming forth by the Spirit to God’s end-time remnant. God is revealing by His Spirit that a woman can have as much authority as God commissions her to walk in. At the present time, women are free to sing psalms and to prophesy in the services, but rarely are they asked to preach. Could they preach? If they were commissioned to do so, they could. Could they pastor? If they were commissioned by apostolic authority to pastor, they could pastor. They could do it because it would be the will of God for them to do it. In the New Testament churches that God is raising up, a woman is not given the office of pastor, elder, or apostle, at the present time, because God has very specifically designated that men should hold those offices. However, by the principle of the commissioning of authority, a woman could do almost anything that a man can do. A woman could go out and lay foundations as an apostle if an apostolic commission were given to her. She could do anything under the authority of the Lord that she has been commissioned to do. This thinking embraces ideas that are revolutionary and may be very difficult for us to believe, but we must change our ideas.
Some people teach that a woman should be completely submissive, yet they really mean that she should be suppressed. This teaching brings confusion. In that view, the woman bears and mothers the children, and that is all. The man goes out and meets the world and makes the living. But that role is changing now among many ministries in the New Testament churches. Various ministries are being supported by wives who work, while they themselves may work part-time. Daddy stays home to care for the children and prepare the meals; yet he is free to minister to the flock and to do whatever God tells him to do. The wife may be able to make the living more efficiently than the husband could if he tried to minister and hold a job at the same time.
Views of marriage are changing from what they have been in the past centuries, and even in the past generations. We must face the fact that we are at the threshold of the Kingdom of God. We had better investigate the Kingdom standards in the Scriptures for marriage relationships. Marriages of Kingdom dedication have a different basis. Those who seek first the Kingdom are not married unless there is a direct revelation of the Holy Spirit that they are to be bonded together in marriage in order to do the will of God. That is the basis for creating a Kingdom relationship. People are not brought together in God for a normal marriage as we have known it in the past, and they will have difficulty if they try to make their marriage conform to former ideas and conventions of marriage.
Changes in marriage are coming forth in the Kingdom of God, and also in the world. However, we cannot even adapt ourselves to the concepts the world is bringing forth. Many people today are writing articles that question the validity and importance of marriage itself. They advocate that a man and a woman live together for a couple of years and then decide whether they want to get married or to go their separate ways. Thus they attempt to have a relationship without any involvement of responsibility. They are going in the wrong direction. That idea is satanically inspired.
People who walk with God in today’s restoration of divine order are relating to one another with a deep involvement and dedication. In traditional churches which have existed for hundreds of years, people can get by with less than ten percent of the involvement that is found in the New Testament churches where people are being led by the Lord. As the days of the Kingdom are coming forth, citizens and disciples of the Kingdom are paying a far greater price to walk with God than any denominational church demands of its people. Total dedication is demanded in a deep walk with the Lord. This same dedication will be required in marriage. Instead of going the other way and establishing a relationship without any commitment or responsibility—a relationship that the two can walk away from—just the opposite will be true. We can glimpse a view of what marriage and the place of women will be in the future when we look for marriages that have a Kingdom focus. There is a need for teaching to help people understand what God wants in a marriage.
Are those who walk with God getting married primarily to have babies, or to become ministries to bring forth the sons of God? It is a fact that beautiful children are being born in many Kingdom dedicated marriages. However, before such marriages, young people do not even go together until there has been a witness of the Holy Spirit. They do not get married until God has put them through certain dealings that prepare them to be disciples of the Kingdom. The pastors and elders who counsel and pray over the couples are directed by God. They pray, “Lord, You get them ready; deal with their hearts.” And God does deal with them. Traditional churches have nothing like this happening to their people. In this hour, God wants a certain dedication to the Kingdom, and we had better study His Word and ask Him to teach us what the Kingdom marriage is going to be.
If you find that your marriage relationship is not working right and God keeps dealing with you, ask the Lord what He wants you to know and which way you should be going. Many old ideas and conventions must be dropped. Is the Kingdom oriented marriage to be free like the world’s idea of open marriage? No, just the opposite. That is the Ishmael manifestation. Is the Lord saying that in a Kingdom marriage you should not have children? No, you should follow the leading of the Lord concerning this. Whatever you do should be done because it is the will of God, and because He has given you a confirmed word to do it. If He says that it is your ministry to be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth, then do it. But if God does not want you to do that, then do not do it.
The Gospel of Matthew deals with the principles of the Kingdom of God. Chapter 19 reveals keys to the Kingdom marriage. And some Pharisees came to Him, testing Him, and saying, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause at all?” And He answered and said, “Have you not read, that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh’? Consequently they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” Matthew 19:3–6. That describes a Kingdom marriage. A believer’s standard is not conformed to judicial law on the dissolution of marriage. At the same time, believers who have been involved in divorce must not be viewed as second-rate citizens. In today’s transition of ages, the grace of God comes to straighten out people’s lives. But when we come into the Kingdom, marriage will stand the way God started it at the beginning. It will not follow the pattern that Moses or anyone else made for it to break up.
The Pharisees further questioned Jesus: They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give her a certificate and divorce her?” He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart, Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another commits adultery.” Matthew 19:7–9. Does this mean that the people in the Body of Christ who are divorced and have remarried are all committing adultery? No, God can sanctify their marriage relationship and make it holy.
The disciples said to Him, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.” Notice that Christ did not try to correct that statement. But He said to them, “Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given.” In America, people have the idea that everyone has to get married. That idea did not come from the true, dedicated walk with the Lord. You do not have to get married. Jesus went on to say, “For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it.” Matthew 19:10–12. Some are made eunuchs by surgery. Others are born without any sexual drive. Then there are those who make themselves eunuchs by their dedication, for the Kingdom of heaven’s sake.
In I Corinthians 7:36, Paul said that if a man cannot keep his woman as a virgin, let him marry; he has not sinned. This indicates that there were marriages in the New Testament times in which they did not have a sexual relationship. Paul was careful to say that they were not sinning if they did, because they were married. They loved each other and they were close to each other; if they went ahead and lived as husband and wife in a sexual relationship, they had not sinned. He who keeps his virgin will do better (I Corinthians 7:38). We have different ideas today. Paul laid out guidelines that are difficult for people today to understand. This is not to discourage marriage. There are people who get married in the will of God, and for them Paul made it very clear that every man has his proper gift of the Lord: For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God… I Corinthians 7:7.
For some men and some women it is important that they be married. Others are never really happy married. They are misfits. They can come forth and serve God far better outside of marriage. A church can have a beautiful family life together if people understand that. But it should not be that those who are unmarried receive only the crumbs of fellowship. Couples usually invite couples to their homes. The widow and the woman who has been divorced because her husband did not want to serve God are usually not invited. As a result, these people must seek out other levels of fellowship. The church should be a family where these separations do not exist.
Some people who come into the Body have been through miserable experiences. They want no more part of the sexual fantasy of the world. They want to serve God, and they are dedicated to become eunuchs for the Kingdom of heaven’s sake. They are ready to forego a marriage relationship in order to walk with God. Jesus said that not all can receive this, only those to whom it has been given.
We must change our thinking. Whenever an available male comes into the church, people start plotting to get him married. Maybe God does not want him to be married. After a young woman is twenty years old, people may think it is a shame that she is not married. That is ridiculous. Many people think that after a year or two of marriage, they must start raising a family. They devote twenty-five years of their prime energies and their finances in order to raise children. Is this saying that we are against children? Jesus anticipated that question. Then some children were brought to Him so that He might lay hands on them and pray; and the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said, “Let the children alone, and do not hinder them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” And after laying His hands on them, He departed from there. Matthew 19:13–15.
This was very confusing to the disciples. The Lord had just spoken about the eunuchs, almost destroying the advisability of marriage in many cases. So when the mothers brought their little children, the disciples’ attitude was, “Get them out of here.” According to this kind of teaching, there is no time for the little children. But Jesus said, “Bring them here. Do not forbid them, for of such is the Kingdom.”
It still remains for those who have children to decide whether they want to raise more children or devote themselves to the family of God. A man of God who devotes himself to the household of God finds that he has many true sons and daughters in the spirit. What he imparts to them supersedes even their hereditary traits. This is a very real relationship.
The Lord spoke of eunuchs in Isaiah 56:3b: Neither let the eunuch say, “Behold, I am a dry tree.” He went on to say that He would give them a name better than that of the sons and daughters, an everlasting name that would not be cut off (verse 5). God will lead some people to enter into a marriage in which they will have a sexual relationship, but they will not necessarily have to have children. Never before has God made it so possible for people to control what they produce in life. If God does not lead you to have children, you have available means to prevent pregnancies which are not in the perfect will of God.
The lives of believers should be directed by the Holy Spirit, and they should follow through with that direction. In I Corinthians 7:9, Paul said, “It is better to marry than to burn,” meaning to burn in passion. But he also indicated that there is an alternative choice: some will determine to be dedicated to the Kingdom of God as eunuchs for the Kingdom’s sake.
Many of those who are dedicated to the work of the Lord are happier unmarried. Their lives are fulfilled doing the will of God and seeking first the Kingdom. If they were married to someone who was not dedicated, they would spend most of their efforts and energies trying to please someone whose objectives and goals were a million miles from the will of God. They would be bound by the laws of marriage and the instructions of the Lord to give themselves to an almost intolerable life, but they would not be fulfilling the perfect will of God.
We must face the fact that there can be fellowship with a Kingdom emphasis within the Body of Christ which does not conform to the old pattern of exclusive sexual relationships. In many cases, spiritual bonds in the Lord can be far more rewarding than marriage as we have known it. In some instances, God has dried up marriage as far as the rewards are concerned. If we are realistic, we must admit that some young people are very happy until they get married. Then a heaviness comes upon their spirits as God begins to deal with them. Their marriage may have been in the permissive will of the Lord; but as God deals with them and deals with them and deals with them, it is evident that many of them could have sought the Lord for His perfect will and followed another course.
God is trying to teach us that people do not have to get married. He is also trying to teach the married people that they do not have to tie down their lives with the traditional pursuits and goals of life and marriage. Many of the values that have been taught to them belong to another dispensation, and they do not have to be bound by them. Many an older person finds as he walks on with the Lord that family reunions are very frustrating. When family members are not as dedicated to a walk with God as he is, he cannot relate to them as easily as to the people in the house of God. He feels like a stranger with his own blood relations, for that relationship is on a low level compared to what God is bringing forth in the Kingdom. Any relationship of the Kingdom has a potential that is far greater than any relationship that existed before. Many find that they are not nearly as close to their own brothers and sisters with whom they were raised as they are to the family of God.
And behold, one came to Him and said, “Teacher, what good thing shall I do that I may obtain eternal life?” And He said to him, “Why are you asking Me about what is good? There is only One who is good; but if you wish to enter into life, keep the commandments.” He said to Him, “Which ones?” And Jesus said, “You shall not commit murder; You shall not commit adultery; You shall not steal; You shall not bear false witness; Honor your father and mother; and You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” The young man said to Him, “All these things I have kept; what am I still lacking?” Jesus said to him, “If you wish to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you shall have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.” But when the young man heard this statement, he went away grieved; for he was one who owned much property. And Jesus said to His disciples, “Truly I say to you, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 19:16–23. Jesus was talking about entering the Kingdom.
In Luke 14:16–24, Jesus told the parable of the man who invited many to his dinner, but they all began to make excuses. One had bought a piece of ground, and he had to go look at it. Another had bought five yoke of oxen, and he had to go try them out. Another had married a wife, and he could not come. In this parable, Jesus was talking about possessions, businesses, and relationships. The people were saying, in effect, “These are first, and the Kingdom is second.” Notice that the Lord was inviting them to the blessing of the feast. Unless the Kingdom is first, you will not partake of the blessing of this great end-time feast, the great last supper that God is preparing. Anything else that has a higher priority becomes an excuse which keeps you from pressing in to possess the best that God has for you.
Jesus continued: “And again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” And when the disciples heard this, they were very astonished and said, “Then who can be saved?” And looking upon them Jesus said to them, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Then Peter answered and said to Him, “Behold, we have left everything and followed You; what then will there be for us?” And Jesus said to them, “Truly I say to you, that you who have followed Me, in the regeneration when the Son of Man will sit on His glorious throne, you also shall sit upon twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel.”
That refers to today. The Lord spoke the right word to them, but that was not the right time. This is the time of the regeneration of the whole culture of man. We are ready to go through a complete regeneration, and this takes place when the Son of Man sits on His glorious throne, when He comes to rule and reign.
“And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or farms for My name’s sake, shall receive many times as much, and shall inherit eternal life. But many who are first will be last; and the last, first.” Matthew 19:24–30. The preeminent ones live by a set of rules that will not work in the Kingdom. The rich man who is first will be last, because he does not put the Kingdom first.
We must change our thinking completely and put the Lord first. The same truth is repeated in the tenth chapter of Mark and in the eighteenth chapter of Luke. When a passage is repeated three times in the Gospels, read it and weigh it carefully. The Lord will open up more aspects of this truth. As we consider these issues, we are not solving all our problems, but we are opening up our thinking about the Kingdom and about the changes we will experience in this hour of regeneration.
Whatever way of life God has chosen for you, you will have to strive as in agony to enter into it. The Kingdom will have to be first. No truth can be greater for you now than to seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and the other things will be added to you. He knows what you have need of even before you ask (Matthew 6:32–33).
Believe for Kingdom marriages where people marry only if it is God’s will for them. Believe for them not only to walk together as husband and wife, but also as bondservants of the Lord, doing the will of the Lord. When they have children, it will be in the will of the Lord. They will raise them for God, or God will deal with their hearts. They will not beget children and bring them into this world to let them grow up by human reasoning. They will raise them for God. If it is their portion in the Kingdom to raise children, then they will raise them with the blessing of the Lord upon them. If it is not His will for them to raise children, they will not raise them. Whatever He tells them to do, they will do.
The Kingdom is coming, and Christ is ruling with a rod of iron. Times are changing. Cultures as we have known them are being broken. Traditions are disappearing, and God is leading us by a new way.